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  1. A no is still a no and I’m not gonna abuse my boyfriend. I feel like most of y’all didn’t understand my question. I’m just looking for advice from people who also had to learn how to cope with these thoughts. Me and him are very sexual so its not like a red flag or line anything’s holding us back. I simply have almost zero experience in not acting out my fantasies and i know its nothing impossible and people do it every day.

  2. Make sure your nails are trimmed (no jagged edge). Use some lube and start by rubbing around the hole to get him ready for it. Once he’s ready go slow and then feel for the prostate (curl finger back towards his penis). Did I mention lube ? no such thing as too much lube. If he’s new to butt play – reinforce how you like to pleasure him and you like this (some guys will feel awkward any reassurance you can offer will be appreciated)

  3. I slap the monkey once a day. Sometimes more I know a lot of women don’t like men watching porn and their reasons seem fair so I’ll attempt it. Just feel weird getting off to myself idk

  4. And whats crazy is I don't really care for sex as a whole it's so much to think about but head I know that I'm good at it and I don't have to be touched and I can make somebody happy

  5. No. I'm high libido and so are most of the women I date. We both still masturbated alone when having lots of sex in my last relationship. Sometimes you just want time with your own thoughts.

  6. Nipple suction cups are like fire extinguishers, you need to invest in them BEFORE you need them.

  7. If you bump into someone who'd rather play videogames than have sex wearing a condom, tell him to stay with his console and move on. It reeks like extorsion to me.

  8. An interesting way to approach this subject is to consider using cock sleeves and seeing if your partner is interested in having PIV sex with a bigger dick. You get the enjoyment of seeing your partner more fulfilled along with the added benefit of being able to last as long as your partner needs. You might awaken a new understanding for both of you and then decide if you want to take another step toward the lifestyle. If you do choose this option, I recommend making the investment in custom silicone sleeves. There are some cheaper options, but you can learn more at r/Cock_Sleeve. We have had some discussions about the very thing you're considering.

  9. You’re a friends with benefits. Maybe some nice benefits; he lets you feel like this is something it isn’t. But at the end of the day he’s saying after 2+ years he’s unsure about you and wants to keep you where you’re at. On his dick but out of his bed.

  10. She hasn't previously, she has expressed pretty conservative sexual beliefs. We barely have time for each other intimately due to her schedule, so it hurts also knowing she'd be spending more time with other men in a way we don't already get enough of… She has been lured in by other friends who say they make great money.

  11. Your post has been automatically removed because it appears to be asking if some aspect of someone else's or your own sexuality or body is normal or not. We get a lot of questions here that are about really basic stuff that ought to be taught in schools but that unfortunately isn't. Variance is the norm in human sexuality. It's more meaningful to ask questions like: is this safe? Is this consensual? Is this mutually pleasurable? There are a lot of great resources for this, including scarleteen and go ask alice. You may also find relevant information with a search of /r/sex or in our FAQ. If you feel like your question is more complicated or will be a topic for thoughtful discussion, please message the moderators so that we can restore your post. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

  12. I fcked 3-4 times yet girl tapped out. Still hard as shit. Still love to give tho. Endurance is worth it.

  13. Getting a clit sucker made our sex life exponentially better. I wish I hadn’t waited 24 years to get one. I was so relieved my husband was not intimidated by it. He no longer had to rub my clot for 45 minutes nearly injuring himself every time we screwed to get me off. My orgasms are absolutely mind blowing now. I can cum innumerable times and they are crazy intense. If your wife is anything like me, it will be the best thing you e ever done for your marriage and sex life. Do it! I recommend the Bellessa Boutique Pebble but buy the $5 warranty because the charger easily breaks (the wire disconnects after about a year). We have sex a lot more often now because it’s not so difficult for me to cum and not so much work for him.

  14. You're not going to get over it. Stop listening to people that normalise this stuff. You're allowed to feel whatever you actually feel.

  15. Its honestly weird to me that he is like that, freshly o’d and all creamy and being able to take more makes everything feel insanely better to me, even hotter if you can go off during intercourse too

  16. I would probably invest in dilators, and not attempt penetration until you can get the largest in without pain

  17. Depends I didn't like it at all until my gf at the time really went to town and ever since it's one of my favorite things

  18. It's probably irritation from shaving and/or ingrown hairs. Hubby gets it all the time, I never do. We both shave, but testosterone could make you more prone to getting it.

  19. I've told him what I like but I also feel weird because it's at the point where I feel like I'm just “taking” and not “giving”

  20. I get it and it sucks but honestly even thing you posted seems mostly anxiety driven and not stuff to worry about. Just sit down and talk but don't let it lead to sex. It'd a relationship discussion about sex, not a sexy conversation that leads to sex.

  21. My goal is to get her off first, once I do it’s permission for me to go crazy. Most of the time she doesn’t want me to go down on her or use my hands, but lets me use my member to pleasure her. We’ve started incorporating toys and vibrations have helped tremendously. It’s such a turn on when she’s shaking from the pleasure. I think you’ve got a lucky girl. Keep at it!

  22. Once you are cleared for sex, the orgasms that following week are amazing. It’s this build up of ‘is this going to be pleasurable or excruciating?’ That is amazing.

  23. I think the only way you could actually be sure would be to abstain from orgasms for months, until you finally have a wet dream, which is your body venting excess inventory.

  24. If it has gotten in the way of your sex life in the past this really doesn't sound like it will end well….

  25. If it has gotten in the way of your sex life in the past this really doesn't sound like it will end well….

  26. He might be gay but you should talk to him not in a direct . Try to make him comfortable and then get to your point

  27. You're a virgin until your vagina is penetrated and your hymen is broken, oral sex or foreplay doesn't take your virginity

  28. For me it’s amazing. Every sensation is amplified. I’m more connected and in the moment. Orgasms are fabulous.

  29. so it started crying and rather than ending it right there you just convince him to keep trying to go through with it? You did this to yourself lol…… he clearly wasnt ok with it, but you still pursued it to get a nut off. Relationship is over in my opinion. That is something he will never forget. If he was truly the man of your dreams, then why would you do that to him?

  30. The best take would be buy a smaller size and replace the condoms from the box of extra large and keen closer to him .

  31. I myself shave. But I never let it get more than a couple of mm so regular shaving you do get used to it

  32. Which explains why you've avoided it. But if this is important to you, I think it's worth that risk.

  33. Ooof, yeah, that's not how to Ethical Non Monogamy things. I don't know if you can save it, but I do suggest the book “Opening Up” for ideas on how do it better. In particular if you'd like to continue with ENM relationships.

  34. So, you’re saying to trust God because he loves me. And if he don’t, he’ll inflict the worst possible torture you for the rest of eternity. God sounds like a monster.

  35. Which is why communication about these things is great, but again, it’s not transactional. Even if someone feels loved and appreciated because their partner had sex with them, they don’t now owe their partner dates or gifts. There is no exchange. They simply continue to do it because it makes their partner happy, which happens to lead to sex. Sex is the byproduct. It’s not a transaction because ideally both people are enjoying it so both people are getting rewarded. This is only a difficult concept to understand if you can’t understand that.

  36. Possessive dudes suggest passes all the time because it gives them a reason to become violent. Many of my clients have shared that to be their experience as I support them fleeing domestic violence. On top of that, his issue is that she used the pass because it's “different” for her but he's totally fine also having utilized the pass.

  37. It sounds like he just doesn't like it and doesn't want to do it. You cannot make him. It's basic incompatiblity.

  38. You get the F away from the person 7 years older than you that's trying to gaslight you and retroactively unmake a mutual decision. You're too young for this kind of BS.

  39. feels sculpted for me is all i can say lol. not too much or too little of any detail. but also im attracted to him entirely

  40. I get this. I get very self conscious about my gf seeing me when I'm flaccid so she's never actually seen me soft. But really it's not a bad thing. Like most people have said, it doesn't really matter what it's like when it's soft when you're a decent size when hard.

  41. Still don't get what's so weird about my view. The difference between a romantic relationship and a friendship is if there is romance, and sex isn't the only romance in the world. The difference between a sexual relationship and a friendship is sex. They're both in the name

  42. Leave and count yourself lucky it’s only been such a short time. Hope you find someone who will appreciate ya!

  43. Oh woah, it really seems like he’s not being attentive to your emotional needs, let alone the issue of sexual intimacy being discussed between you too. That’s, well, you know, it’s really unattractive when a guy (partner in general) demands things in the bedroom without any real consideration for the need of their partner. Plus the fact that he’s clearly uninformed about the subject matter and inexperienced. Because anal is a ask from your boyfriend, I was expecting a sense of genuine curiosity and effort on his part since that’s how we react when we are excited to try new things. I think his behavior, this feeling of entitlement and clear lack of effort, is problematic not because of this particular instance. Rather, if he’s behaving this way now, that means he’s behaved this way before and is going to behave this way on many many things, not just sex. Clearly, he needs to mature up. But you are not his mother. At 26, do you really want to date a man-child? And who knows how long it will take? You have quite the work cut out for you. I think having a stern conversation with him about boundaries, clear expectations of effort and even clearer expectations on how you are to be treated in certain situations and such maybe a good idea. And draw the line, like if you’re going to give this a shot, make sure he’s actually doing what he’s saying. The worse thing you can do is let him off east

  44. Not prioritising it is not the same as not experiencing it, which is what your first comment implied

  45. And yeah San Jose, Cali. Look up San Jose Behavioral Health on Yelp. It's horrible. It has like 1 or 2 stars and then you gotta see the reviews. I was only in the adolescent ward, apparently the adult wings were hellholes. Passing through the hallways for outdoor time, we saw people going literally insane, hurting themselves or others while the staff just stood back.

  46. Op, I want you to do something for me. Look yourself in the mirror, put your hands over your heart, breathe deeply and repeat these phrases for as long as you need: I am enough, I deserve love and respect, I have people who love me for me. Now look into your reflection’s eyes and say: I love you, thank you, I’m here. Now, I’m probably going to repeat everything you’ve already read, but please put yourself first. He was fine for a first love, but that part of your life is done now. Take some time for healing and self care. You will be okay ❤️

  47. Yes, you likely have a high sex drive. You need to cum until you can't cum anymore, so you have total tension release.

  48. Everyone's taking this way too seriously smh, this is like a guy saying “I want to have sexual intercourse with you” rather than just saying he wants to have sex. Its weird.

  49. If you don't already, buy some flavored lube and give him a really good bj, allot of teasing, licking, masturbating him while you lick, make him beg you to stick it in his mouth and then when you do try deep throating Sorry if that's a bit vanilla, you didn't say what kind of things wouldn't shock him ?

  50. I'm beginning to feel like some sort of freak. Really? I have masturbated with partners and friends before and never thought it was something that weird? I always felt like it was a healthier sex practice to go to prior to actual sex.

  51. You’d just finished having sex and you were upset that he wasn’t hard for round two. Give the poor bloke a break, it isn’t about not being attracted to you, it’s simply how many people’s bodies work. Making him feel bad about it however may make him less attracted to you in the long run. Honestly, I think you owe him an apology.

  52. Are you fully turned on before penetration? The uterus and other organs pull back during arousal to prepare for sex so if you're not turned on all the way it will be tighter and shallower. If that's not the case, though, you could always try positions that don't go as deeply! (look up shallow penetrative sex positions for example pics)

  53. I was on Celexa that one was bad for me. Zoloft is actually doing pretty well l. The thing is what works for one person doesn’t work for others, our neurochemistry is individual. It’s kind of trial snri my brother is taking is helping him.

  54. To me it sounds more of a self esteem issue more than a “its never gunna happen” or “im too small” issue. I would reccomend seeing a therapist and im not trying to be rude just give the best advice i can.

  55. Your post has been automatically removed because it appears to be about having sex for the first time. We get numerous submissions regarding this daily because many people are anxious about it. However, because it is a topic that comes up so often and is well covered by our FAQ our community has asked the mod team to direct posters with these concerns to these resources instead. If you're interested in discussion on the topic, please do a search of /r/sex and read some of the many past discussions on the topic. If you feel the topic of you post is not covered by the FAQ, please message the moderators and ask that your post be restored. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

  56. The hardest battles people face are those against themselves. Your scars are evidence of a hard battle you fought and won. Their age shows how many days you have continued to hold your ground. They are physical evidence of exactly how strong you are. Those places in your life closest to your heart are reserved for a few people that deserve them. I know rejection hurts, and it's painful to find out someone isn't what we wanted them to be or thought they were, but anyone that doesn't recognize how awesome you are doesn't deserve one of those places near your heart. With him gone, you now have that space available for someone that deserves it.

  57. Everybody in this world has a story and those scars are part of yours, dont ever be ashamed of them, if anything they will always be a reminder of how far you’ve come in your life to where u are today, and the fuck with ur ex he’s an ass

  58. Would you apply that statement to physically abusive partners, cheaters, verbally abusive partners, or just this topic?

  59. The smell. It’s a very specific smell that you are simultaneously not a huge fan of and a massive fan of.

  60. Depends which ones were administered. Gardasil 9 is newer and the old one doesn’t prevent, it’s also not perfect

  61. How old are you? You're hardly not so young that you don't know people have sex. It's your mam's gaff get noise cancelling headphones. If you're too young for a job then maybe asking for a few bob to get em would be grand

  62. It’s about being comfortable and honest about what feels good to you. If you are able to clear your mind and relax, help him help you. Try, throughout the day, to get yourself into anticipation, not necessarily pleasing yourself until orgasm but maybe raunchy reading, maybe watch porn or a spicy movie. It’s really up to you to decide what you want to try, but you have to follow through and let him know.

  63. I'm in this situation as the gf, a bit more calm though. I can tell you from previous experience, if you make your lover feel like she's the best part of your life, if you worship her and constantly show your appreciation for her and her body and how she's built, by reminding her, complimenting her, loving her, it will get easier. it IS definitely carnal, and is normal. what is NOT ok about the situation is the females you follow, they're a big deal to her for some reason, whether she feels she's not enough for you (which takes a two person effort from both of you) or that you show more interest in them, then you do her. when y'all are hanging out, try just running your hands over her tummy or thighs or face and just compliment what you notice, it goes a long long way. it takes her to understand that it is normal for humans to find other humans attractive, and it takes you to keep your attention on her and only her, as she is your partner and should be the only apple of your eye. best of luck and my messages are open if you need more help/feel like reaching out!

  64. It’s okay I am not hating on you or trying to convince you with anything. It’s also okay to ignore me if you don’t feel right about me

  65. It's just a sex toy. Trying something new that may be enjoyable is not going to suddenly make her not enjoy something she enjoys now. One of you may end up wanting to use it more often than the other, but that's what compromise is about.

  66. If they ask immediately I’d say it’s weird yes. After a couple dates I think it would be ok to ask for a timeline if it hasn’t happened.

  67. Well, whether I include oral sex in my count or not, my number is the same either way. I've only had intercourse with 2 guys, and I've only had oral sex with the same 2 guys. So any way you look at it, my count would be the same.

  68. The biggest red flag to me is not her lack of desire but that she genuinely thinks this: She said that its a turn off when I ask what she likes because I should just know. So…she's looking for a mind reader? How unrealistic, unfair and selfish. She doesn't want to have to actually, you know, WORK for a satisfactory sex life, even a bit – not that having a freaking CONVERSATION is work, but you get the idea. She isn't communication what she needs and just expecting you to know? She doesn't sound mature enough to be in a relationship tbh but is only with you because she is afraid to be alone. You deserve better. Tell her that a satisfying sex life is important to you and that you won't settle for someone who doesn't desire you and part ways.

  69. Last year I came out of a 16 year long relationship and was single for two years before that, I'm now 37 and had zero skill or experience with oral since my previous GF did not want me to do it. Men/people are different, I read up on that shit and went down on my new GF the first chance I got and continued to do so because I really wanted to please and learn. I really enjoy doing it, even for a long time. He might be the same, unexperienced and don't have the confidence to go for it. So ask him outside the bedroom. After a few months of me doing oral to my GF, I noticed she never initiated on me and never tried giving me oral or much of anything during foreplay. I said over text that we needed to talk about how we go about being intimate and talk to her about some of my needs. The discussion was very good, we opened up and talked about a lot of things and I explained why oral sex and sex stuff other than PIV is important to me. After a while she opened up to why she had not done it, the reason was bad experiences in the past a long time ago. She takes initiative now and I feel the conversation we had was really good for the both of us.

  70. that’s sounds like so much additional work ? but i guess you’d get used to it. i’ve only had one uti in my life so it’s hard for me to wrap my head around this

  71. He does not have ptsd. It is deep rooted in men to be possessive and competitive. That's all this is. I understand why he feels like that but you cannot change the past. You were broken up. Doesn't sound like he's gonna get over it tho. Either he gets over it or you break up. I don't rly see any other options. Not hating on him if he didn't get over it.

  72. This topic is discussed pretty often here. Following Forum Rule #2, take a look through the FAQ section on Orgasm Troubles. And following Forum Rule #3, also search through past posts in this forum. There’s a lot of good information in those sources.

  73. Your post has been automatically removed because it appears to be about having sex for the first time. We get numerous submissions regarding this daily because many people are anxious about it. However, because it is a topic that comes up so often and is well covered by our FAQ our community has asked the mod team to direct posters with these concerns to these resources instead. If you're interested in discussion on the topic, please do a search of /r/sex and read some of the many past discussions on the topic. If you feel the topic of you post is not covered by the FAQ, please message the moderators and ask that your post be restored. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

  74. I’m mostly subby but I still enjoy the idea of making a male partner a “sex toy” for myself. That can simply be a combo of riding him, ordering him not to move unless I say, and using dirty talk (telling him he’s a good fuck toy for my pleasure, that he was designed to please me etc)

  75. He's probably been masturbating for at least those 5 years. The sad fact is that a guy's hand can give much more stimulation than a vagina can. It's also directly under his control so he can do exactly what feels good to him with his hand, but you can't know exactly what sensations he wants in any given moment. The extreme of this is known and Death Grip Syndrome, where a guy squeezes his cock so hard when masturbating, that in comparison a vagina just doesn't offer enough stimulation. Talk to him about his masturbation habits if you can. If he loosens his grip, uses lube if he doesn't already, and even abstains from masturbating for a little while, your vagina will feel comparatively more stimulating. Another possibility is that he's mentally having a difficult time letting go. As you say, he's had a crush on you for 5 years. Maybe he's built it up in his mind to the point that it's kinda too important, too serious. It may help if you make sex just a fun thing, no pressure, try to laugh a bit and be silly, just enjoy one another, and if orgasms happen, they happen. Reassure him that you're having a great time regardless, and you just want to be with him whatever happens.

  76. I loathe the concept of vanilla as “prude” or “basic” or “average.” Vanilla is exotic and expensive. Vanilla is rich and creamy and comfortable. It makes everything sweeter and taste better. I mean, basically all sweets have some vanilla in them, from the most chocolatey brownies to the fluffiest marshmallow to sun kissed strawberries and cream. You have to have vanilla to make everything richer. Vanilla is amazing and without it, there's a vast amount of things that wouldn't be nearly as enjoyable.

  77. NO. Never send photos if that isn't your thing, and never send them if you are underage at all. No photos should be exchanged in a new relationship, either.. This is not leading someone on, it's not prudish and your BF is a terrible person for saying those things and pressuring you. This should bring a very quick end to your relationship. This is not a person who can be trusted to respect your boundaries. You are putting your privacy and your self respect at risk if you stay with him.

  78. This is grooming. You went through with it this time, seemingly by will. As time goes on, you will become more reluctant to participate, and he will become less patient with you. Even if you never sleep with anyone else, the manipulation and abuse will continue. If you feel uncomfortable this early on, then this relationship is unlikely to get better. I would save myself any more bad experiences and leave now. Life is hard enough without an abusive boyfriend.

  79. r/becomingorgasmic is the sub for this but the work has to come from her. If she’s fine with how things are you can’t force her to put the hard work and effort in to change.

  80. He has already seen you in all your naked glory, have no fear of the shower, a lot of fun stuff can and will happen as you soap each other up, rinse, rub, and tug. Enjoy it, let loose.

  81. As a fairly sexually shy gal I do find it quite awkward to initiate, I’m quite an anxious person so I worry a lot about me initiating and him turning me down or not being in the mood. There’s also different types of desire, men typically experience ‘spontaneous desire’ so can get horny out of nowhere and start stuff whereas girls tend to be more “responsive desire” so don’t really get horny until things start happening which is why I feel like guys initiate most of the time. I can promise you she probably wants to and wants to have sex with you it’s just awkward for some of us

  82. Can't you just comment on her being good at free use? Things like complimenting her on being such a good sex toy? Saying she looks so cute when she has orgasms? Telling her she's been such a good pet she deserves more stimulation? Telling her she looks so cute when she's blowing you? Telling her her holes feel good? Complimenting on her sexy slave attire? Use her as you wish, but every use is associated with compliments describing how good of a job she is doing I guess my scenario is that you're the master. She's a slut. But you're just kind and caring, and focus on stimulating her? Sometimes people will use a term like a pleasure dom, or service dom.

  83. My wife was the shyest person ever when it came to sex. Now we’re swingers. Maybe your person thinks you’re only doing it to please him? Have a conversation in a non sexual environment about this and reaffirm your wants. Make a list!!!

  84. By trying to not make it about me, concentration and focusing on NOT letting go. In other words enjoy it, but not trying to finish. I mean it helps that we don't go days or weeks without having sex, it's just hopeless if we go without it when she goes to visit her parents and we see each other for the first time in weeks. We'll get maybe 20 minutes before it's over, otherwise our average is about 45 minutes to an hour with about 3 hours being our longest.

  85. Frequent masturbation and SSRIs. I tend toward “cannot orgasm if I'm dehydrated/stressed/etc” more easily though, so it's not exactly recommended. Especially since my partner is also prone to getting too sore for follow up intercourse, so we usually need to take a 1-2 day break between sessions.

  86. Yeah I honestly to this day dont know if she was into it or just didnt know how to communicate she was uncomfortable. Been trying to seriously look at past relationships as more of an adult and there were definitely times like this where i brushed up or slightly crossed the line. Not trying to avoid responsibility, this stuff should really be taught in school though. Its shocking how little they teach in uni and high-school besides “no means no” turns out there is way more too that

  87. So when im by myself i view content and i dont close my eyes. I guess im always just shocked at what im doing with my gf. I'm not used to doing sexual things. Mainly just used to masturbating alone but now that i have a gf i'm always in disbelief like how did i get from masturbating alone to suddenly doing all these sexual things. This is my first relationship so i never experience these kind of things

  88. Masturbation. I can’t go multiple times anymore but I can go for pretty much as long as I want or until I get sore. I think my record is 90 minutes and my wife had 7 orgasms. We were both pretty much wiped out after that. In my twenties I could go multiple times in a row for up to four hours.

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  91. Oh definitely. I've been told my partners ex's don't move at all like they're dead and some make weird noises.

  92. Definitely tell her you are nervous. Don’t expect her to take charge any more than a woman your age. Treat her exactly like you would someone your age. Essentially, don’t act like there is an age difference. The big thing here is experience level not age. As with a lot of women, the best bet is to be sure she is good and warmed up before your swimsuit area even enters the game. Unless she actually does take the lead, then just go with what she does.

  93. OP you really need to get him to consult a GP in case his low libido is a medical issue. Try getting couples counseling and then maybe sex therapy.

  94. If you just got out of a relationship, I'd give it a little time to digest before jumping into any sort of arrangement. And communication is key with whoever you choose to enter this arrangement with.

  95. Honesty is always the best answer with ANY Partner regardless of Gender Preference or Sexual Preferance. Share how you feel and I a would bet he has either dealt with this before or will be receptive and appreciate knowing.

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  97. I'm a male, so my advice is limited. You already know the basic variables that can effect your scent, such as diet and hygiene. I'd encourage also drinking more water and avoiding cleaning or “douching” much inside your vagina — it can actually disrupt the bacteria and even worsen things. If all else fails, see your gyno or primary doctor. They can help you!

  98. If you masturbate every day, it can be hard to cum because you're doing it too often. So stop for a while, then get back to it after a few days. If you still have problems, call your doctor.

  99. Which is very valid and I just wanna reassure him that he is so beautiful and perfect especially when he’s getting me off, I just wanna return the favor. But I’m realizing that orgasms aren’t everything. I hope that you are experiencing someone that helps with that anxiety!

  100. this is a concern to me. i’m glad you’re aware of the issue. please voice your concerns about not receiving proper aftercare. it’s so important. if he needs to watch tv and separate, fine! but you need yours too. it also probably isn’t helping that he finished and immediately stopped the sex before you had the opportunity. that’s probably making you feel like your pleasure doesn’t matter as much. and honestly? based on this post alone, it seems like he doesn’t prioritize your pleasure.

  101. This is actually common for bigger sized men, the mouth doesn't get bigger when aroused! If this is super duper important, and you're someone that likes to practice, you can measure him, and get dildos progressively closer and closer to his size to “train” on. BTW, this would be a very sweet thing to do, and is absolutely above and beyond. I'd be the most flattered man in the world if my SO revealed this much consideration and forethought to this! There are limits to the mouth, specifically molars, that will always be present (except for the largest mouths). When you open your mouth, the molars get less benefit (clearance) because those teeth are closest to the hinge of the jaw, so there's sometimes little you can do. There's also the option of sticking to just the glans, and using hands with saliva/lube, which is awesome if done right. Good luck!

  102. Op, If receiving oral sex is a big deal to you, then it's best for you to move on to someone who is more amicable to your sexual needs. I wouldn't count on her changing her mind in this situation. Don't settle for something you aren't 100% happy with. As always, YMMV. Good luck!

  103. Enthusiasm. Honest, straightforward enthusiasm. Love the shit out of that man’s appendage – in all the ways you see fit, while telling him how and why it is his loving that grinds the ever loving fuck out of your gears.

  104. At least let him know so he can start looking for a new potential partner too. It’s quite cruel what you’re doing currently. Or just break it off now

  105. Not all men are uneducated and squeamish about periods. You told him the situation, he was good about it, he kept going, everyone had fun. End of story. Take some deep breaths and appreciate the fact that you had a great experience with a guy who is clearly into you and is unbothered about you being on the trailing end of your period.

  106. Yes. Just open communication worked. Sex felt like a chore to me because I wasn’t having fun / was too anxious and felt like I took too long to cum.. so I just never wanted to have sex. Once we talked about it, it was like night and day. Now we have fun sex and have found toys etc to incorporate into the bedroom.

  107. When a man is too much in control, a woman can get the feeling that he is not ‘swept away’ by her beauty, body, her hair, or anything. Melt a little, hold her, put your face in her hair, and when you enter her, make her feel like it’s the most beautiful place in the world, her skin, her body.

  108. Mine was a mixture of death grip and being super stressed and anxious to perform. I talked to my gf that sometimes it takes a while and reassured her it wasn’t her. We went at it for 4 hrs with stops and messing around/ breaks but eventually I got there. I stopped jerking off and that helped tremendously.

  109. Not a girl but I know a few things from stuff I've been told by my wife to make me fingering her more enjoyable. Trim your nails to avoid scratching, though freshly trimmed nails can be just as bad. Warm yourself up, don't go straight into fingering. I guess you could if you have lube but a warm up makes it better. Orgasms are hard to really explain in terms of “what you'll feel” but most people who have had one can agree you know you've had one when you've had one. For some women when you are close to orgasming it could feel like you might have to pee, this sometimes psychs some people out and they stop. As reassurance since you've never done it before maybe make sure you're empty so if that feeling comes you know it's not actually pee. I guess I should have asked this before but have you masteebated before? Like not fingered but rubbed your clit

  110. Thank you for helping me out!! But yeah I couldn’t get hard the first time so the second time I just took supplements to not mess up but no help at all, what would be your advice to not get in my head when it comes down ?

  111. You say you’ve brought it up, but how serious of a conversation was it? Was it jut a question like can you help get me to orgasm more? Or an actual discussion? This situation sounds real bad. I don’t see how you can remain that unsatisfied all your life. So it’s better to have the difficult discussion now before it gets too far down the resentment path. Have you ever tried the mojoupgrade quiz together? That may be good ice breaker and get the conversation started in a way to say I want to have more and different sexual experiences with YOU. way better than a generic “make me come or else” ?. And by the way don’t take anal play off the table completely if you’re just scared of pain. You don’t have to do penetration to have fun down there.

  112. Sounds like he got in his own head about it. Some people would look at a shared kink/taboo as an opportunity and jump right into trying. Others internalize it a lot. If this kink is something you really want in a relationship you might want to pull the band aide off and just bluntly ask. If it's not a big deal you could leave it be. I'm personally a fan of the couples sex quiz for the really kinky stuff. Like sexionnaire.com since it only shows matches.

  113. Get someone else to do it. Everyone should have their needs fulfilled, everyone should have their boundaries respected, ergo sometimes there’s no solution other than getting more than one person to fulfil those needs

  114. And that other old saying ‘if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all’. More generally, what we say to someone shouldn’t be just ‘a thought we had’, it should pass through a couple of filters first. Filters like ‘what does saying this out loud achieve?’, ‘is it kind?’ and ‘am I being a dick?’.

  115. Thanks, I'll definitely try and just relax more. I try not to be nervous but that probably makes me more nervous ?.

  116. My hubby (30M) and I (28F) have been together for 3 years. We have a beautiful 3 month old baby and are getting married in 5 months. I’ve always been very sexual, but pre-baby, our sex life was mediocre if I’m being honest. But ever since I gave birth, things have changed. My man is a lot more passionate and very intense with me now. He’s been doing new sex positions, being very hands on! I also feel a lot more horny now and we’ve been experimenting with our sexual desires and communicating our needs which has created an intense connection when we have sex. Recently I told him I wanted to give him daily blowjobs because I want to perfect deep throating him. He obviously got so aroused by it and I’ve been a real slut to him, trying new things like sucking his balls, using my new mommy boobs to stroke him.. I even got a bunch of lingerie, a but plug and stripper heels that he chose to spice things up. He’s been saying that he feels like I’m his personal porn star which is such a turn on for me!! I’m a giver. For me making him cum in my mouth is so much more satisfying than having sex! I feel desirable, sexy.. I feel like I’ve locked him in with my sexual skills. He keeps saying how he doesn’t think any other man gets this kind of treatment from his wife let alone 3 months postpartum. I feel like seeing him being such an amazing father is also a huge turn on to me!! I can’t get enough of him! I’ve also become very submissive, I like to kneel at him and beg him to cum in my mouth and let me swallow every last drop. I have no clue what’s going on.. I didn’t think this could happen as new parents. As soon as our baby is asleep, I turn into a slutty wife! It’s been amazing! I used to worry about him cheating but not anymore. He’s so madly in love with me and I can tell he’s very content with my special treatments lately! Is this a hormonal thing? I really hope it stays like this as we grow old together!

  117. He's being an asshole and doesn't realize or care that his dick to much to handle on a consistent basis. Don't let him get u down but understand that is ok for u to not be ok with him and leave it u want to.

  118. First step is to stop faking. It not only destroy trust but communication as wellm If he believes he is good it's less likely he will listen to you. Second thing is to guide him with encouragement. Don't say “I don't like it here” but rather say “I like it much more there”. Also use simple instructions while he is performing. Higher, lower, slower, faster etc….

  119. I suggest a second medical opinion. Afaik you can only catch each version of herpes one (hsv-1 and hsv-2). Since you both have it then you can't now re-infect the other.

  120. You misunderstood me – there are great relationships that will get destroyed by non-monogamy, not everyone is wired for non-monogamy, in fact most people aren't. You implied that only great relationships would withstand opening up a relationship, which is not true.

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  122. Do you enjoy it? Does she enjoy it? If not, then there's nothing wrong with not doing it. But. There is a lot more to sex than orgasms, like I said a lot of women like being penetrated even though they don't directly receive pleasure from it, as it's still great for bonding. The same can be true of basically all sexual activity. You need to talk to your partner about what you both like. Maybe even if neither of you gets pleasure, your partner would be sad if you stopped because they still find it enjoyable for other reasons.

  123. Mitigation of the effects is probably your best bet. I'm in the same boat as your partner. A waterproof “sex blanket” is a must.

  124. Read the Japanese study Enhanced visualization of female squirting by Miyabi Inoue et al in the International Journal of Urology 2022. It's overwhelmingly urine.

  125. Also, I have been dealing with myself being a people pleaser sexually, so me being able to communicate what I need took some time, also understanding my needs was a lot of work

  126. Responding emotionally to sexual experiences is caused by something, please don’t be hard on yourself ❤️

  127. Without taking a sample and looking at it under the microscope, they can't see the difference between traces of semen or just normal vaginal discharge.

  128. How long have you had it? It took about 6 months for it to fully settle and be back to my usual self. Now I love it, it requires no thought, I don't have periods, no side effects.

  129. Til that all of that could possibly become a complete waste if I catch COVID. Well, that, plus your ability to work and earn income, exercise or even just walk around for a couple minutes, read, have a conversation, remain standing for more than a few minutes, taste and smell, watch a movie, care for yourself independently… and more! Wear a very good mask. Every time you catch COVID, you're playing Russian roulette. At stake is everything it means to be you.

  130. After years of almost no sex and also terrible, lazy, mediocre sex, I've been with my new partner now for close to a year. He has done any manner of things that makes me realize what I was missing, but this week was one of my favourites ever. I had never come from penetration in my life, and had always found it difficult. A few months ago, I did for the first time. I basically thought it was a fluke. This week, I found out that it isn't – I am able to come from penetration, with no other stimulation. My partner is magic and I feel like I just opened up a whole new world, lol. Also, I am more turned on that I have been ever, so that probably helps!

  131. When I have a question I search for them, but I don't have a subscription if that's what you are asking.

  132. It was a script. But, you could definitely try to massage. Use a little coconut oil and gently massage/stretch the tissues a little each day. I honestly didn’t use much of the estrogen cream because it scared me hahah. So I think the massage helped a lot.

  133. Have you ever considered using a liberator? I used to date a ssbbw and had this exact same issue. I’m a decent size, but simply couldn’t get it in as deep as I wanted to. I purchased a liberator and was able to do a couple of different positions with her. Affordable and very fun. Helped her orgasm better too.

  134. hey – fellow redhead here with more freckles than a beach has sand. I’ve only ever had people tell me how beautiful they are, especially the ones in places people don’t normally see. And it’s true, they are!

  135. I’m 5’4” while my wife is 5’8.” When we do doggy on the bed she spreads her legs a little further apart. This works for us. As for the other positions that you mentioned I use my tippy toes to penetrate her. However this can be uncomfortable so we stick to doggy, cowgirl, missionary etc. for sex.

  136. This situation sounds all too familiar to be honest. Its 'i expect her to give me head and get me off for an hour but trying to make her cum is too much work'. Thats the vibe part of this is giving and I don't know how so few people are picking up on it.

  137. This entire post, and so many of the comments and responses are an entire regatta’s worth of marinara flags.

  138. He tried to coerce you into sex that you do not want, and when you tried to say no, he guilted you and implied you’re abusive. Also guilted you by implying he’d drive back high and possibly hurt himself. ‘Withholding sex’ is not abuse. Person A deliberately making Person B feels worthless is abusive, but just not having sex is not abusive. Sounds like he tried to coerce and/or assault her and she stopped putting up with it. You feel used because he’s trying to use you. He’s treating you like a sex toy that’s there to fulfill his wants. Sex should only happen when BOTH people want it. Imagine if you wanted to put something up his butt and he said no – could you imagine feeling reasonable insisting that he HAD to do it? That’s the equivalent of what he’s doing. Sex is something for two people to share, not something that women give men and sure as hell not something where he makes a fantasy on his own then insists you force yourself into it. If you’re not ready to leave yet, I’d see if you can get in touch with the ex and ask her about any red flags in him that you should be looking for. You might find things in common.

  139. There are people out there who don't like giving oral???? That's just wrong. Watching a woman as she orgasms from oral is the most amazing thing!!

  140. You're not overreacting. He said something that made you not interested in having sex and so you left. That he asked if you were going to have sex while/after you put your clothing on shows he's an idiot. The way he asked also indicates he's an idiot.

  141. Well from all the advice I've heard, don't try to moderate your dumbassery, you have to go cold turkey. Otherwise you're liable to go on a dumbass bender and you could hit rock bottom.

  142. There was no energy for sex my brain. It takes time and regular sleep for it to come back I see, but I think what OP experienced is a bit different. He referred to kids, plural, so the whole thing lasted for several years probably. Unless OP's wife was very tired all the time after their kids were born, which is unlikely, I don't believe that's the reason for the drop in her sex drive.

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  144. Absolutely go to sex therapy together first and foremost if you want to continue the relationship. If that doesn't improve things, you have to consider other options. Many commenters mentioned breaking up, but you can also discuss being non-monogamous if that's something you both consider alright. But be warned it's something that should be discussed deeply beforehand and what boundaries you're both OK with. Maybe in discussion you both like it, but when it actually happens maybe both of your opinions change.

  145. Sounds like this will be your first time. 😉 “Filled her mouth with cum” is a porn fantasy. Looking at a labeled tablespoon in my kitchen, I think I fill it. Watching porn, I see guys that I guess fill 3. It's not a lot! Look up 1990s porn star Peter North, “legendary cumshots”. He would hold the Guinness record for cumshot volume.

  146. Nope not a problem at all. My partner has a bend to the left as well, if anything it works better with my body than a straight one as he never hits my cervix.

  147. This is so restrictive and does not sound like a healthy marriage. But again, to each their own. Good luck OP. I don’t have any ideas on how to make this right.

  148. Wanna add here too because it’s incredibly important, DO NOT GO DOWN ON SOMEONE DIRECTLY AFTER A BORIC ACID SUPPOSITORY boric acid is toxic when ingested orally. You need to wait a few days after treatment.

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  150. Talk to her first. Women love guys who have in depth conversations about real shit like this. I bet if you talk to her first she will respond very positively to it.

  151. My wife doesn't like neither giving nor receiving oral. But to me, it's like cutting 50% off. How do you guys make up for that?

  152. Blindfolds, cuffs, sex in public (but “secure” place), sex toys with remote control or via app. Strangers in the bar, or blind date play. If you have child-free home/ night – then sex anywhere except the bedroom. Sex before the mirror, sex in the window…

  153. I’m going to go with him knowing better than to try fucking a coworker’s client. He noticed you and you struck a nerve, but rules are rules.

  154. No offense, but telling him to just say anything and not think about it, doesn't really help him at all. The three basic rules of dirty talk are: (1) say what you want, (2) say what you feel, (3) say what you want to do. Another aspect of dirty talk that a lot of people don't think of is, dirty talk is just as much about what you want to hear as well as what you want to say. In your case, (I could be wrong), it sounds like you have some preconceived notions/desires about what you would like to hear from your partner. And, that is totally cool and legitimate. My wife and I will sometimes email/text each other little snippets of dirty talk dialog. Not only does it give us ideas. But, it tell us what the other wants to hear and say. Example of recent email she sent me. W: I am going to cum soon H: That's right, you're going to give me all your cum W: Oh god, here it is, yes H: Good girl, now what do you say W: Thank you This not only is hot as hell (for me at least). It tells me so much about what is going on in her head. What she wants to hear and say. And what I can say to help entice her even more. YMMV

  155. Those are some pretty standard kinks your “friends” are either ultra prudes or overdoing the shaming to seem better than you

  156. She might a taboo fantasy that borders on very dangerous I'd go with other sense based stuff. If it doesn't tick for her likelyhood she likes to be hurt. I had an ex who wanted me to bite her lip till it bled while being rough. I did it once I didn't like it…she loved it though. Just be careful but personally I'd avoid it.

  157. Brother it sounds like you’re just gay, and feel some immense pressure from your family/ friends/ society to hide that fact. You have to come to terms with that.

  158. so you're saying it's OP's fault that their boyfriend made an assumption about their willingness to have a threesome and went and talked to their friend about it before actually talking to their partner? gross.

  159. The main tip is to taper off and switch to a different drug because there’s no magic solution for this- if this is how the drug affects you it’s going to stay that way.

  160. I get performance anxiety because I find it difficult to even “pretend” to be demanding. All I can think about is being concerned about being too rude/mean, selfish, or being too rough. This is literally how every normal man feels when a woman asks them to be dominant. They aren't born dominant, or if they are they are psychotic. These are obviously unhealthy behaviours that should only happen as part of role play. It's called practice and learning to please your partner. Women really think men are born liking to rough up their partner.

  161. Depending on your country I think this is more than enough reason to file a complaint. In some countries “doctor is king” but I’m not paying them to shame me. This is so annoying

  162. She shouldn’t be shooting water into her snatch, just PSA. The solution is for him to deal with it, not for her to just throw off her pH in a different way.

  163. You have to let her know what you want and to stop being lazy lol. It may sound harsh but I’d tell her to do you 1st sometimes then you help her

  164. Have you considered the tooter hole or the thoat? I think both of those messes are easier to manage in an on-going type situation.

  165. I'd imagine it's equivalent is having a women's labias sucked/licked; some may have more sensitivity there and get a lot of out of it whereas others don't. As a guy I don't have much sensitivity near the testicle area (to light sucking/licking sensations, obviously harder impacts would be something else)

  166. i disagree that it makes you less confident, taking nudes always makes me feel more connected with my body and sexier

  167. First off, you sound attractive to me, so you’re probably fine. Second, I have yet to hear a man complain about any pair of boobs he actually gets to see, so I can assure you a guy you’re with is probably just excited to see them

  168. As a hetero guy, the best lovers I ever had were those who… Loved sex and had little sexual shame Had a baseline of comfort with their own bodies Liked the guy they were having sex with (a.k.a. me, LOL) Were willing to adjust what they did, so we both got more pleasure/fun The first few times I have sex with a new partner, I'm not expecting anything mind-blowing…especially as I have gotten older, and gotten more experience. However, if we aren't “evolving” as time goes on, the ability to adjust and honestly communicate is key. Then again, there are just some times, where two people just aren't as sexually compatible as another pairing might be. One may be “amazing” with one person, and very average with another.

  169. I don’t mind talking to her about sex, it’s just she’s convinced I’m having sex with my boyfriend even though I told her I am not.

  170. Oh and 1 more question, any idea why people are saying precum on finger doesn't result to pregnancy but precum from PIV (penis in vagina) has a small chance of pregnancy higher than fongering?

  171. Can speak for him but I think it's hot when my gf does it. If it was me I'd want to know before hand but knowing would make me more excited.

  172. I’m a 29F too and I’m wondering if this is the age and stage where we start to have the best sex & self pleasure cos I’m having the best sex of my life with my newish partner (m32) and also when I touch myself I’m not usually satisfied until I’ve cum at least twice.

  173. I've never had a bad experience eating my wife's pussy. Been together for 15 years. Fresh out of the shower or 2 days later I'm always game

  174. You can think of your spine as alternating layers of hockey pucks and jelly Donuts. Sometimes some of the jelly comes out. But keep in mind that the donut/disc is attached firmly and it's not going to “pop” or slip out of place. Unfortunately the jelly tends to leak right where the nerve exists and can compress it. The nerve compression is what can cause back pain and pain down her leg(s). The body can eventually break down the jelly to reduce the compression. For some people, the body just gets used to it. Controlled resistance can help heal the disc as well as desensitize it. Surgery would involve using arthroscopy to get rid of the jelly. In theory if they get the right spot it can resolve symptoms. However, the spine is very complex and sometimes the pain is coming from another source and not the targeted herniated disc. Success rates for this type of surgery are far from ideal. Moreover no surgery is without risk of complications and some of them can never be undone. From a little information that I have there is nothing that is “scary” about her symptoms.

  175. Just say “I understand this is something you’re into and I’m not against you being into it, however, it’s not something I feel comfortable doing”.

  176. Interestingly she has, in arguments, suggested a 'free pass'. Naturally I've said no as I wondered if it was a 'test'. Unfortunately my wife can suffer from insecurity but she acknowledges that I have never made her feel like this and she had it with ex's. I really am reaching the peak of sexual frustration where I love her but I am no longer sexually attracted to her.

  177. I had a smiliar experience at the age of 16 when I had my first gf and I turned soft immediately after I saw some blood. In my case I was just shocked because I thought I seriously injured her and my brain went automatically from “fuck her” to “take care of her”. I don't know about your age, but in most cases if a guy gets soft immediately, it's a Reflex to a situation and has nothing to do with the woman. The only thing a woman can get some fault, would be phrases that put pressure on a man in bed. And even if he feels disgusted of blood by itself, don't take it personally. He would feel the same with any other woman, too.

  178. I was in your shoes last year. My ex was similar, except he would eat me out sometimes, but the foreplay was so quick, just a few minutes, I'd give him head almost every time. And then we'd have sex for about 3 minutes until he came. I always asked him to wait because I hadn't orgasmed. He would never slow down, just say “oh give me 15 and we can go again” we never went for round 2. I barely ever orgasmed and my sex drive was very low by the time I finally broke up with him…. My next bf after him was THE BEST sex of my life. We were 100% sexually compatible and I loved it. But mentally and emotionally, we were totally different. It didn't work out. But better sex is out there. I don't regret breaking up with my ex in search of something better AT ALL. I'm so glad I didn't compromise my own pleasure and just settle for mediocre sex. Being single is better than being constantly disappointed tbh.

  179. In the grand scheme of things 30 pounds is significant but not an outlandish amount of weight. In the span of 5 years, some of which were during a pandemic where people's normal habits were thrown out the window, that kind of weight gain seems pretty understandable. If you genuinely think him losing weight would get things back for you then maybe it's time to talk to him about it and tell him you'd like to go to the gym together. That said, you were 18 when you started dating (and he was 25…), it makes perfect sense that your tastes and wants are different than when you started dating. If it's not working for you, then you're not an asshole for ending things.

  180. Huh I struggle to cum. I can fuck her for half an hour or more and I’ll stop when I’m exhausted. I often have to finish by hand but she doesn’t mind, she came four or five times already.

  181. Much as I despise “communication”, sometimes you are just out of options. You gotta tell this guy about this. You aren’t helping either of you by faking it or by putting off the conversation.

  182. Depends on what her reasoning is for it. I would say fits selfish on some level If her reasoning stems from insecurities and purely for her benefit and not his. It would be different If it was a moral issue and wants him to stop because she believes it will improve his life in some way. There’s an obvious difference between the two and easy to see. A lot of people these claim the things they for is for others but a lot of time it’s for self gratification. Donated money to a charity so you could tell people about it. donating to a charity seems like a selfless thing for someone to do but deep down a lot of people only do it for praise from others

  183. For a regular massage it is. But keep in mind that in happy ending places the women are probably not getting paid at all. They are working for tips. So, $20 is still fine for a regular massage if you are also getting a wage, but the tip for a happy ending is significantly more than that. Think…sex worker pay. And before you scream exploitation, realize that ‘more than that’ adds up to a solidly good income. So, if all you get is just $20 for a hard hour of massage work, it sucks.

  184. It's just i ve never been with a girl feeling nothing there and It disturbs me a little. Clearly i dont force her anyway to like it and i just do what she actually like and want but i wanted to know if it commons for girls to be insensitive there and if it is normal.

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  186. Experiences like this can happen to anyone. It’s totally common and means nothing. I’m fact someday you’ll look back on this and realize how much you’ve grown since.

  187. Some fantasies just need to be that, fantasies. Bringing in another person into your sex life is just not worth it! There are so many ways to pleasure him that doesn't require you to put his dick in your mouth. If you want to see him with another person or if he wants to see you with another person then don't be in a relationship. I know people have kinks and fantasies but neither of you should ever want to see your partner with another person. It would devastated me to see my partner be with another person let alone another person seeing them naked even. But that isn't up to me so if you really really want to start down that road then you're going to have to talk to him and explain this and make sure emotionally you can disconnect yourself from him actually getting something sexual from another girl because if you can't disconnect, it will eat you alive and you might have killed your relationship altogether.

  188. I think the best thing is to stick to a fragrance free, water based lube. Haven't heard of anyone being irritated by them, but obviously if they do stop using it and try something else, it could be a brand thing. But I would suggest water based

  189. Thank you for your comment. It’s not an assumption, we’ve been together for 9 years, we use each other’s phones without permission, he uses mine too if he needs it for something. We were on a vacation and there were some photos taken on his phone that I wanted to send to mine so I can upload them to instagram.. Anyway, the strange thing to me is that he does it to himself, he told me once while we were drunk that he would like to try that in the shower to me, and I told him we can try if he wants that but we never spoke about it again..

  190. are you bringing it up because youre worried about having something because you stepped out of line? This as well as his accusation that she was cheating makes no sense to me. If she had cheated on him why would she say she wants to get tested and voluntarily show him her results? Would she not get tested behind his back and keep any positive results from him?

  191. Yeah I saw her. I just get more upset tho bc there’s so much hate comments and they affect me

  192. Women like being controlled in the bedroom, some also like doing the controlling. I do the very same things as you and yes most girls like a little roughness during sex like the hair pulling. Now not all girls like it so communication is VERY important so make sure you discuss things she likes and how she likes it, and discuss things that you like and need too. In general girls like being dominated during sex its a very common thing and is really hot as fuck too. 🙂

  193. Everyone has said what needs to be said! but listen I am like you, I am nerdy, 5'8 and not the best looking guy by a mile. If I can get a girl to date me and then marry me and be with me for 20+ years then dude there is hope for EVERYONE don't give up bro. Hell be lucky your not in your 40's like me, my wife passed away and now I am just screwed lol. because its brutal to date at this age hehe

  194. I’ve been with my HSV2 boyfriend for 6 years on and off. He is unmedicated and did not contract it from “sleeping around unprotected” unfortunately he had some childhood trauma sexual abuse and the person who abused him gave it to him when he was 11. Before we started sleeping together he was very honest and open about it and we used condoms at first I read up about the awful stigma about it of course . I love him so how can I be so shallow and just write off my best friend ESPECIALLY knowing he didnt contract it from being unsafe? I’ve been tested yearly and I have never contracted it or have had symptoms. Believe me it is possible to have a relationship with someone who has transmittable Sti.

  195. Honestly, this is not true, though people think it is. I am an overweight man and Pakistani, which not a lot of people view positively in my experience in the states. Regardless, I have a good grooming regimen, take care of my hygiene, I have researched and used friends as a resource to develop a good wardrobe and have received compliments on fashion taste, I have multiple hobbies, even active ones despite my weight, and love my job, I have been taking therapy for years and have greatly improved from it, I'm social and have no problems talking to anyone, but I have yet to receive any intimacy beyond platonic. I have many friends, I socialize often, I'm not a recluse. I am confident in my areas of expertise and enjoy making people laugh. But at the end of the day, I have no been successful at achieving intimacy. I'm glad I do all of the above things because it makes me happier and a better person. But this is not how you will get success in romance. Maybe it makes it easier? If it does, it's not noticeable enough for it to make a difference to me. I personally think my biggest obstacle is my weight and ethnicity (and truth be told, I'm thinning quite a bit). If it's not any of that, then it's just luck and I guess I'm unlucky.

  196. Actually tampering or removing a condom without the other person knowing IS rape. It's called stealthing. I know that according to OP that isn't what happened, but in her eyes it might be.

  197. Question should be is DO YOU WANT AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP A day will come if the current behavior persists he will just do it anyway. Then you will have to just deal with it. Sorry to be harsh. Just a guess here but it kinda sounds like he wants to be aggressive with sex and can't with you (because he does love you) and at least he is honest about not wanting an emotional connection

  198. Use a condom, it's going to feel great. You can do it raw later on when you're more ready to confront the risks & challenges.

  199. We’re taught our entire lives that it is ALWAYS our fault. He can’t orgasm? It’s because we aren’t doing things right. He doesn’t treat us right? We’re the problem. We can’t orgasm? Something is wrong with us. They stay because they’re convinced if they just do the right thing, it will fix the problem.

  200. I wouldn't say no to bring an orgasm each time but also wouldn't be mad if I didn't sometimes as I enjoy the intermacey (can't spell it) a lot that having an o each time isn't my end goal. Recently it just feels so infrequent it's hard not to feel a bit disregarded and a though my pleasure didn't matter. If he tried and I didn't I skylight be so upset as he was at least considering his I felt

  201. Having multiple orgasms from clitoral stim is what makes everything swell and get sensitive enough for a PIV orgasm. It's all one big organ

  202. If you want you can edit the post and say how you really do want a threesome and not just be with a woman.

  203. Maybe edging him might help. Everytime he tells you he's getting close either stop and give him a minute or pull out completely and let him cool down. Obviously this is something to practice and talk to him about if he is even willing to try this.

  204. One of her comments says that the text messages between the “emotional affair” partner and him were sexual.

  205. He totally means centimeters because if it were inches his opening sentence would be “I frighten women”.

  206. Exactly. I didn’t even know how birth control worked when I got on it. My mom put me on birth control when she found out I had been sexually assaulted because she thought I consented to it. The fact that she was able to make me do something to my body without even knowing what I was taking or having the information on side effects is bewildering to me.

  207. My husband and I had been together for 7 years when when his father died of a sudden heart attack. I would never have guessed how much need for sex that would trigger. We can’t always predict how we will react to grief, much less be expected to predict someone else’s behavior.

  208. Sounds like you should reconsider everything. However I'm 30 years older than you and love swinging with my lifetime partner. We are both straight but enjoy all interactions!! Work thru your sexual energy and don't discard what you lust for. Experience it all and don't let anyone hold you back (within reason). ?

  209. I know a woman who hates giving head but has such ludicrously strong pussy muscles that men have outright got stuck inside her before. If you have a big deficiency (not being able to give head) then you either need to up your game (via r/pompoir) or find a man who hates receiving oral- I found two such men entirely by accident over the course of my dating life and both those men loved to go down on me

  210. Do you feel that self pleasure will satisfy you when sex may not be an option? My libido is higher than my partner so I self pleasure when I’m horny. Some days I can’t wait to go back home to enjoy the time with myself (I love being with him but this is something indulgent and sexy I get to do alone). We spend so much time with our partners sometimes I feel we forget that it’s normal to have fantasies we only enjoy in our minds. To watch porn we love by ourselves. To self pleasure with only our own satisfaction in mind. It’s important to look at our relationship with sex. Is is something we do for connection? For pleasure? When we feel bored? When we are wanting validation? Do we feel obligated to do it or do we genuinely want to do it?

  211. Do you feel that self pleasure will satisfy you when sex may not be an option? My libido is higher than my partner so I self pleasure when I’m horny. Some days I can’t wait to go back home to enjoy the time with myself (I love being with him but this is something indulgent and sexy I get to do alone). We spend so much time with our partners sometimes I feel we forget that it’s normal to have fantasies we only enjoy in our minds. To watch porn we love by ourselves. To self pleasure with only our own satisfaction in mind. It’s important to look at our relationship with sex. Is is something we do for connection? For pleasure? When we feel bored? When we are wanting validation? Do we feel obligated to do it or do we genuinely want to do it?

  212. I’d be all for this, and I feel for you. I suppose being a short man in a rural craphole, I’ve simply learned to do without better.

  213. My bf would go down on me for an hour if that’s how long it took every time to cum. Hell he goes down on me sometimes for an hour cause he wants to. Your bf shouldn’t have to do things sexually he doesn’t want to but you should be able to both cum and feel good during sex. And if you’re not then you need to evaluate that relationship.

  214. No one needs sex Stopeed reading there because that premise is painfully incorrect. Please shut up and go to subreddits talking about abstinence or nonutnovember or whatever you crazy people are doing.

  215. It's honestly a pretty tame way of bringing power dynamics in, and afaik often entirely verbally. What two consenting adults do genuinely doesn't matter, because it's consensual. Nobody else has to like it – hell, everyone else on the planet can be revolted by it if they want – but it doesn't give anyone the right to, as some commenters suggest, literally fucking murder people.

  216. Check out r/toocuteforporn for reference. In case it wasn’t obvious, this is very NSFW

  217. The dick has a mind of its own, and can erect itself under inopportune circumstances…but yes, if you're thinking sexual thoughts and get hard, it's because of that.

  218. It depends on the kink and the person. And honestly, both brains and sexual desire are very complex. You simply cannot accurately assume that every sexual fantasy is a wish someone would like to have fulfilled. That's way, way, WAY oversimplifying. People fantasize about all kinds of things without wanting them to happen. A lot of people on here have brought up rape fantasies because they are very common. Do you seriously not believe these people when they say they don't want to be involved in actual rape from either side of the event? I don't really understand why that happens so much, but does. And based on an erotica cover I saw the other day, some people romanticize/sexualize being stalked. They do not want to be truly stalked because it would be degrading and scary, but the idea of obsessive love/lust turns them on. What about the idea of being caught; having sex before an audience; all kinds of things the brain might latch onto as hot? Doesn't mean the person actually wants any of those things to happen. If anything in the world were as simple as you seem to want it to be, it isn't sex.

  219. OK hold up. He told you to learn from porn? *FACEPALM* Porn isn't fucking real!! Real sex is not like porn. IF he thinks that is what sex should be he is delusional as hell. It sounds like he is the bad one not you!! He has to do his job, he has to make sure you're emotionally connected, he needs to make sure you're relaxed and completely turned on! Does he do foreplay and if he does what does he do?

  220. Then say that instead of alluding to just leaving the relationship, you’re comment is much better than just casually, “there are plenty of fish in the sea OP.” Relationships shouldn’t be, just head out unless there are clear red flags, in this case, you can’t say it’s a red flag and you should just leave before talking it out and see if there’s anything to be done

  221. Oh look,r sensitivity is throwing insults. So mature of you. You don't get to tone police me or tell me when I can or cannot comment. Lol. You think much higher of yourself then you are.

  222. She's in denial or is confusing terminology. She's really attractive but she confuses me so much. I'm 40m and women still confuse me.

  223. why did your boyfriend have grindr already if he had just brought it up? seems like he's getting started without you… red flag.

  224. why did your boyfriend have grindr already if he had just brought it up? seems like he's getting started without you… red flag.

  225. I'm waaaay more mature at 22 than I was at 19 and it's only 3 years… He's an old guy, you're almost a kid. You just got out of fucking high school!

  226. I think you need to be open and honest with her and say you desire to have sex more often and how can we meet in the middle? Failing that, couples therapy. Needs aren't being met in the relationship. That will eventually dissolve it if it continues. Doesn't mean she needs to be sucking you off daily, but there's a middle ground and 5 weeks between romps isn't it for most couples.

  227. Happened to me a few times when I was younger and it stressed me out. I would tell partners my dick was a bit shy with new people and ask if they were ok with me just going down on them the first time. Took the pressure off in a humorous way and no one ever complained. With less pressure to perform the problem went away.

  228. You absolutely can do more! No matter how good you are it can always be better. I don't get on top, but I can fuck him from the bottom. Rotate your hips in a circle if he's doing a basic thrust in and out. Do a Kegal elevator and squeeze hard when he is pulling out and halfway when pushing into you. You can also rock your hips up and down to meet his as he thrusts. Squeeze him on his way out and relax on the way in so it doesn't bend him. Run your hands up and down his back and drag your nails lightly as you go. (Some guys really like it when you dig into them and make them bleed.) Grab his hips ad he thrusts and direct him to your spot. Men love it when women tell them what they want and help take the guess work out of making us orgasm. Put on a show for him and play with your clit when you can reach it. The visual appeal will be chefs kiss. I'm a sex addict. I am obsessed with being amazing in bed and getting amazing orgasms. If you don't do kegals every day, you should. Stronger muscles gives you more consistent and stronger Os

  229. Exploring new sensations and techniques can be a fun and exciting way to enhance solo play. Have you tried incorporating toys, like a vibrator or dildo, into your routine? Experimenting with temperature play or edging techniques may also offer a different and enjoyable experience. It's important to prioritize your own pleasure and comfort, so don't feel pressured to use products or techniques that don't feel good to you. Keep exploring and have fun!

  230. Thank you so much! This made me tear up a little bit. I definitely need to explore the shame I feel about sex a bit more. Thank you again

  231. Thank you so much! This has made me feel a whole lot better. I’ll definitely start to communicate more with him. This is the first serious relationship I’ve had and I want to put effort into making it last

  232. I see not many people have answered your question. There's a lot to be said, but it's all been said a million times before. I'd say try using the search function on this sub. Other than that, there are probably a ton of video tutorials you can find on porn sites. Try sticking to the more legit ones like pornhub. Lastly, and I think this is the most important part, don't sweat it so much. No one expects perfection their first time doing anything. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Also be honest with the guy, tell him you're not that experienced but are excited to try. Enthusiasm is a pretty big part of a good BJ. He should appreciate that more than you pretending to be an expert when you're not. Best of luck to you !

  233. Yes omg let that man eat the bootyhooooole! It’s going to tickle the first time (well for me it did) but omg it’s so good especially when they go from back to front woooow ? do make sure to wash prior though, never know if there’s a rouge bit of tp hanging around hahaha. Enjoy and have fun with it!!

  234. Probably wants to see if he can get you to react/moan while you’re trying to hold back & being silent. Seems harmless and easy to participate in.

  235. I’ve never heard of that term before, but after a quick search I’m not 100% sure that’s what she meant, though I’ll have to ask her to be sure

  236. Most people having sex are in relationships so it's not as necessary, but if you're having sex with new people all the time then yeah, getting tested is important. I have type 2 herpes, shits no fun, I'd never want to spread it. You never know what you could have.

  237. a virgin man…knowing well you've had partners before…is gonna be a real test for him. Give him time.

  238. My wife says she sometimes thinks about women when she masturbates. I’m not sure how often that is. She isn’t gay at all and says she would never actually act on it. If she wanted to I’m sure I’d be up for something but i would probably end up like Ross from friends

  239. I could say the same about her. She was only thinking about herself and getting off, not his feelings.

  240. They make hollow ones that you slip your dong in – you can turn an average cock into a behemoth schlong. I am sure it would work well

  241. For a lot of guys it's important. Like oral is important for a lot woman too I would assume. On the other hand we never met anyone who likes to receive oral but is unwilling to give. However my wife enjoys giving head as much as she loves it when I go down on her. For us it's a very important part of foreplay and even in between position changes.

  242. I don't doubt their good faith, I doubt their viewpoint as a whole. But some people did give me food for thought.

  243. How big is big? If you're talking about 6.5 inches, you might have a sufficiently sized dating pool and in real life, most women would consider 6.5 big, or biggish at least. If you want 8 or more, well, then you're likely to have to compromise, either on the person or the geographic size of your pool. I have a friend (acquaintance really) who saysx “If it ain't ten, we ain't talking.” Her boyfriends have been, without exception, complete douchnozzles. She's restricted herself a great deal.

  244. Hi 34F single lady here. I know this is supposed to be thread about sex, but since this ask is also about broader relationship dynamics, I want to mention some other things that concern me about your relationship. You and your husband have a significant though not huge age gap. though it sounds like it was pretty significant when you got married assuming you married before you had kids. Your first kid was born when you were only 20 or 21 years old. You have been busy caring for babies and children throughout your 20s and haven’t necessarily had much time and space to explore work, dating or adult friendships and hobbies. I’m concerned that you’re in a vulnerable position as a sty at home mom who is significantly younger than her husband, who makes all money and gets to go out into the world and interact with other adults more. I’m a little concerned about how he could kind of trap you at home and pressure you into having sex you don’t want, or worse. You say he is already pressuring you into sex you don’t want and that is terrible. I’m not sure if you want anymore kids right now. But if not, I hope you are on a reliable form of birth control. Do you have your own friends and family that you can reach out to when you have concerns about him and his mom?

  245. Are you sure the husband actually did this? Maybe your step mother is a lying bitch. That’s so much sex, I hope my sex life is that good with kids.

  246. Not the exact same situation, but I'm 5'2 120 and my bf is 6 foot and 190ish or more and powelifts so he carries a lot of extra muscle weight and that can be a lot for me. We can be very passionate and he and I both like a both of body contact involved. But, in certain positions, like you mention straight up missionary, and he's laying on top of me it feels like he's literally crushing me and made it uncomfortable for me a lot. But, if I lay on my my chest (ie apparently referred to as prone bone) with a pillow under my hips, he can be on top of me and disperse his weight a lot better while still being all over me or can lean back and it's a lot more intimate than doing doggy. I also get a lot of stimulation from it ? You could also try missionary where he's standing and you're laying on the bed and put your legs up on him! Takes a little bit of flexibility but it's GREAT as a mixup especially if you like more face to face type of intimacy like me!

  247. If it bothers you a lot but you want to keep having sex without a condom, I recommend getting lactic acid for your vagina. Restores your pH and keeps the unpleasant smells away

  248. I had no idea that was a thing. As someone who doesn't partake, even I am interested in trying that. Holy moly.

  249. “He's very sweet and kind” Uuuuh bruh did you read or even THINK about anything you just typed out? you just said he made you feel ugly. How is that sweet and kind? Tell him his dick's too small and to take that trash back to his exes. Not that hard to stand up for yourself.

  250. I identify as bisexual, literally just because I like both men and women. He says that he doesn't “believe” in this and that he thinks I am gay. ??? He suggested that to commit to one another and our “gay lifestyle” we should both get vasectomies. …wut? It's a medical procedure, not a wedding ring. There's nothing romantic about swollen, sore testicles. Trust me, I'm literally dealing with this right now. If he enjoys the sense of irony or whatever, sure, but you wouldn't get a gastric bypass because you're into BDSM, or breast implants because you're a lesbian. I am refusing and he's threatening to break up with me over this. ??? commit to being with him for the rest of my life. Bro. Homie. My guy. You're 18. Yeah, you're not going to knock him up, but even if things were perfect, you wouldn't have an business making that commitment. Look, you've been with him since you were a child, and I get that seems like a very, very long time. But you're still a teenager, both of you are still changing. Dump him like a sack of potatoes and move to Lisbon or go to university or whatever. Never mind all the weird bi erasure “claim you for gayness” shit at play. Disrespecting fundamental parts of people's identities is not something to be tolerated in a partner. Not even ESPECIALLY when it involves being pressured into body modification.

  251. maybe It’s a fetish thing? He might get turned on by your smell! if you’re not into or think it’s weird let him know

  252. Oh hell yeah I know it’s “not just sex” issue. I’m crazy about everything in general. But it’s more prevalent in sex because you’re literally exchanging someone’s fluids

  253. I am sure you are not, but he isn’t convinced otherwise. Try to get sex off the plate and just hangout as friends for some time, he needs to feel comfortable around you before he can even think of anything close to sex. This might be a lil time intensive but if you really like him it would be worth the shot, baby steps at a time.

  254. Yanno this is all bullshit right? There's no law that says you have to produce any number of kids before you can decide not to. This is doctor's pushing their bullshit on people. I got a vasectomy. I went to two 15 minute appointments. First one he told me what it was and asked if I knew it meant I couldn't have kids anymore. Second one was numbing, snipping, and tight underwear. Don't take these bastards at their word.

  255. Your post has been automatically removed because it appears to be about wanting some tips on new things to try. We get numerous submissions regarding this daily because it is a pretty common interest people have. However, because it is a topic that comes up so often and is well covered by our FAQ our community has asked the mod team to direct posters with these concerns to these resources instead. If you're interested in discussion on the topic, please do a search of /r/sex and read some of the many past discussions on the topic. If you feel the topic of you post is not covered by the FAQ, please message the moderators and ask that your post be restored. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

  256. You are never at fault when someone assaults you. There’s a lot of creepy men , u need to develop self preservation skills to avoid them

  257. So I had this fantasy about watching my wife with another man and finally told her 3 years ago. After a lot of talking and establishing boundaries we went to a swinger party locally. After a few months of getting to know people in the community she played with a single guy while I watched. I got off on the jealousy and when we got home had the hottest sex we’ve had in years!! Or boundaries have evolved over the last few years and now we’re full on swingers. Start slow. Talk to people in the lifestyle. Watch her flirt first. No playtime. Just see her interact with another man. Let her see you interact with another woman ( if she wants to). Set rules and boundaries before you leave the house. Wants- maybe- hard no. 3 separate lists. Set a safe word. Or a safe sign if she can’t be verbal in the moment. It’s definitely not a lifestyle for everyone, but if you communicate and do this for the right reasons it’s a great way to live. We go to local parties/events about once a month. We don’t always play with others but we watch and meet new people. We’ve made amazing friends. Goodluck. I’m always happy to answer questions if needed!!

  258. Is it possible for it to bend and no pain and causes the penis to not erect again? That might be ED? When it starts to form the tissue, th degree of curve is more like on the shaft or coming from the base? And would there be pain during this process?

  259. Keep sucking him when he’s nutting and when he blows his load in your mouth make sounds like your tasting something delicious and just keep sucking and swallow it all down.

  260. Absolutely. I generally rotate between 3-4 FWBs, sex daily or every other day, and it completely calms and focuses my mood and mental state ?

  261. ….. How deeply do you care for them if you are contemplating leaving them for someone else tho?…

  262. I used to box & you get a lot of looks getting around with black eyes & visible bruises. Not many people ask/comment on it tho. Might be different if you were female & rocking up looking like a dropped stone fruit every day.

  263. Yea, smarty pants, I know that already. I didn't say this Brazilian girl was Hispanic-I said I've always been attracted to dark-skinned Hispanic women and that I once had a Mexican girlfriend. Why don't you just read the whole post? Thanks for trying to educate someone from a part of Texas that has more Hispanic residents than Whites.

  264. And penises have more rng and bugs. Sometimes you want and need the erection buff and the dice keeps rolling a 1 and other time when its the most random or inconvenient you keep rolling 20's. Sure you can buy the viagra microtransaction but nobody likes those when you are broke or are still in the early game.

  265. Not at all, the night before I masturbated. And no, amm how do I explain it wasn't like normal cum, it was more dense if I can say it like that, and it really were to much of it. So I stopped right there and without me doing anything the other ones still happend.

  266. Tried a new technique with my wife today, just for fun and the sake of variety to keep it interesting – I read somewhere about making the rhythm of your finger or tongue on the clit go to the beat of a song, so it is more irregular with faster and slower sections. Are You Mine by the Arctic Monkeys got her over the line and her orgasm seemed relatively intense, however it also seemed to not last as long as usual. Will be trying it again next time to monitor for consistent results and check for verbal feedback. I love science experiments ?

  267. Whether you're official or not; its good you got this topic out of the way. I just think of people who date for years not talking about having children/or going child free, then get hurt worse down the road. This question of preventing pregnancy and declaring to be CF should be established if having a regular sexual relationship with a person your close to. Good for you for standing up for yourself.

  268. Pets are NOT kids. Not even close. I’ve never seen a pet owner beaming with pride after their dog caught his first baseball or received a college acceptance letter. Pets won’t be there after all the family you grew up with pass away.

  269. He's 19. Unless he failed out of school and has obvious callouses on his D, he didn't go from 5 minutes to 45 because of porn use. Ask him how long it used to take to JO and go from there. If it's clear he's become desensitized, make getting re-sensitized (abstaining, mostly) sexy/interesting/something to look forward to so he'll be compliant.

  270. You are a newbie. We all have been there. Congratulations by the way. Make sure the condom fits correctly. You want to measure your girth or circumference about mid shaft with a tailor’s tape or piece of paper and a ruler. Then go to calcsd.netlify.com or the FAQ section to find the best ones for your girth. I have used Skyn brand before. They are non-latex and thinner but they hold up really well during full thrusting. There is no reason you should not be able to cum in the condom. Be sure to grab at the base when pulling out. I have used condoms as our birth control method to give my wife a break from the pill. There are non-hormonal methods of birth control such as IUD, patch, and shots to see if she would consider as a backup method of birth control. You should start lasting longer as you do it more and get used to the feeling. Too bad she is almost done after she has an orgasm from oral as I love going down on my wife before I enter her.

  271. No I don't realy care if she wants to do it that's her choice what I'm more concerned about is that she don't even want to talk about and just shuts down, heck she won't even change infront of me and not even talking full nudity, I'm talkin like her underware to throw a different t-shirt on

  272. Thanks Einstein here we use it as a both ? maybe start learning what's happening also outside your country ahaha

  273. I work 12 1/2 hour shifts too. One week is 38 hours the next week is 50 hours and they alternate. It’s unlikely he’s working 96 hour weeks on a consistent basis

  274. This is one of the more measured comments on here that doesn't just rush for the nuclear option. Thank you.

  275. My partners love it. They don't tell me not to. Difficult? It could be for some men and women givers. I guess some givers use fingers to hold the clit the still, or they finger a lot near the clit. If you like to do that, and with two hands, now you'd have a learning curve. It's good for the woman to be a little bit active, such as by holding the clit still themselves. Some women would rather lie back and let the giver do all the work. There's no difficulty doing stuff inside the hole. It would be all at the clit. I touch and hold the clit with only lips and tongue, which probably takes some skill. I also press and push only lightly to moderately, not hard like a dog slurping water. Now I have both hands free, one for the vagina. The other for the butthole, or for her to pull on. (Watch porn to compare how men lick for 10 seconds like an eager dog versus how lesbians give head.) To do the G-spot, I stick in two fingers and press and massage the G-spot with both fingertips. I personally don't slide the fingers back and forth. I wait a little bit to add the fingers inside. Then I do both until orgasm. When I do the triple action, I wait a little while doing the double before adding the third action. The woman when she is on the verge of orgasm, she might want to pull on your extended free arm to get leverage for tensing her body. Don't let the shoulder joint get pulled to excess.

  276. Your post has been automatically removed because it appears to be about anal sex. We get numerous submissions regarding this daily. However, because it is a topic that comes up so often and is well covered by our FAQ our community has asked the mod team to direct posters with these concerns to these resources instead. If you're interested in discussion on the topic, please do a search of /r/sex and read some of the many past discussions on the topic. If you feel the topic of your post is not covered by the FAQ, please message the moderators and ask that your post be restored. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

  277. OP is right to feel insecure because is he literally now insecure in his sex life as he found out he as himself is inadequate

  278. You have absolutely no say in anyone's consentual sexual decisions, and it's weird that you think you do. This isn't a sex issue. This is a you issue. And people having sex in clubs with strangers is about as normal as the sun coming up in the morning. From the dawn of time, one truth remains above all others; people be fuckin.

  279. No sane, healthy adult woman – which she is, if she's in college – has a good motive for texting a 15 yo boy. If there weren't something wrong there, she'd be going after a man her own age. You're better off with a girl your own age, too.

  280. You should do therapy, bisex and gay men tend to be gay cause they love men, not because they deserve hate from them. Gay bottoms just like being bottom, they dont feel “pathetic” about it. You can be engaging in men having sex with men as a punishment. It doesnt sound good. My gay/bisex friends are with men cause they like them, love them and want to spend their life with them. Not cause they “dont deserve pussy”. Try a femdomme she can help you maybe???

  281. I think there’s probably a lot of great reasons a woman can give to say no to a blowjob. If she doesn’t want to give one then that’s her boundaries she set…

  282. “I'm gonna tear your ass up like we just got married” Just lyrics from a song I recent discovered and liked. My partner once said to me “I wanna touch your pussy” and I wanted to die, dirty talk is such a turn off for me unfortunately so I have no good advice. I'm just stoned and now I have that song stuck in my head now.

  283. give my future partner a bunch of passionate kisses everywhere basically kissing and massaging her everywhere and making sure she's happy and loved and feeling beautiful about herself.

  284. Blondes are still considered to be the ultimate sex symbol. However, I don't dye my hair blonde to be sexy; I do it because I like how it looks.

  285. I genuinely can't help but see it that way – literally the look of it and the consistency is so similar. ? I have horrible memories of a lad at school who used to flick his bogies on the table and I used to be gagging….. I once came across a porn clip of lots of men cumming into a cup for the woman to drink at the end and OMG THE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE.

  286. Sex with the ex is very common. It’s someone you know, and someone who knows you (so you don’t have to feel shy). And because of the kids he will never be completely out of your life. Where is gets tricky is trying to move on. It sounds like you are the custodial parent, so you are working and taking care of the kids. That doesn’t leave much “you” time (and, as you pointed out, even when there is the time there isn’t always the energy). So your situation is far from rare. I’m not much help with next steps, though. Maybe try for a FWB situation (where you don’t care as much about what they think).

  287. I am pretty oblivious when they do cum, so hearing them say it is awesome and always gets me there so much faster. But I think you're right that it's hotter for both people involved to hear it now that I think of it

  288. For me it doesn't really feel like anything. I enjoy the attention for my bf, but usually he has to do other stuff for me to “get into it”.

  289. This is a major breach of trust. I would suggest you talk to your partner about it and let her know how you feel. Its very inappropriate to share videos without your specific consent.

  290. Yes its possible. That is the unfortunate part of herpes. You can spread it with no outward symptoms and even when you tell someone you have it years can go by and suddenly they have an outbreak and you dont….Then they immediately think you have cheated.. It is estimated that 20% minimum of the population has herpes. Walk into a room of five and at least one person probably has herpes….only time will tell and he might not break out or break out a year from now…though usually the first outbreak is the most painful and annoying one.

  291. Well I would let it be known that I was unaware that this was going to be public information and there fore if and when I would tell them how I felt about it and if they are friends you will no need to worry.

  292. Jesus I’d say next. That’s weird no? Is she trying to baby trap you? Why use a condom if she wants the dna? Does it hurt when you pee?

  293. i'd like to hold my gf tight from the back basically with her head on my chest while some other guy would pound her … i would play with her tits an clit, kiss her, caress her face and just enjoy her emotions

  294. I really thought it was weird at first when I heard my boyfriend moan…now just thinking about it turns me on

  295. You should find out if he masturbates on his own. I found myself less inclined to have sex when I masturbate.

  296. Mix it up with a pillow under your hips and a vibrator, also you pushing back into him is great too. So many options with this position. Have fun!!

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  298. So, you're F-in asking -US- what you did?????? Come on, you need to give us the secret cheat code you performed on him!!!! JK, I haven't had this 10 min O, sounds rather nice, to say the least. Ask -him- to try to recall what he was doing, what you were doing (and perhaps what he was on)? Please. For science. For us. For me! 🙂 https://tenor.com/o3H4.gif

  299. cock slapping is always a weird one to me. i’m (male, 26, mostly heterosexual) very sexually experienced and i’ve never gotten any pleasure out of that move, but ive seen it happen in porn a lot. a lot of the moves that you see in porn videos are unrealistic and impractical, but a lot of people who are just beginning to explore sex in real life use moves they saw in a video online only to find out it doesn’t really do much. from a woman’s perspective i could see the cock slapping being slightly exciting, like if i were to tap my penis on a partner’s clitoris a few times before i slide it inside of her, it’s almost like a “knock knock, here i come” kinda thing which i could see being arousing/exciting. but from my male perspective there’s nothing special to me about that move. it doesn’t hurt, it doesn’t feel good, it’s just kindve a silly move. biting nipples is definitely a thing though, nipples are an erogenous/sensitive area for both men and women but especially women. it’s more of a nip than. a bite though; no one wants someone chewing on their tits. and if they did, i’d rather start gently and have them tell me to go harder, than bite too hard and hurt them. but rubbing/using my mouth on a woman’s breasts is a valuable move especially in foreplay, which in turn is a critical part of the sexual experience in general. having someone kiss/suck/lightly bite pretty much anywhere on the body feels great and is a big turn on for most, regardless of gender. but the more sensitive the area, the better it feels. so nipples, necks, ears, toes, and of course the genitals are all gonna be especially erogenous areas to use one’s mouth on.

  300. For every guy that won’t lick your cat, there are 20 willing to eat skittles out of it. Thank you, next. He is selfish and lazy. He is happy to get blow jobs but never thought he should reciprocate? Everyone over a certain age knows women don’t come from PIV and need clitoral. What a douche bag.

  301. Talk to him about sex, porn, and things you've heard about. I'm not talking things to make it hot and heavy or trying to pry out kinks. Just, talk about sex in general. The goal is to make it so the subject isn't taboo, it is just another subject. This should make talk about sex regarding yourself easier. Since you're chatting him up about it, it'll be easier to open up to him as well. Let him know why you want to do this as well so his thoughts do wonder too much.

  302. Loving the downvotes, some justification would be good. All I need now is a suicide referral.:facepalm::facepalm::facepalm:

  303. Has he been infected with covid at all? That can cause things like erectile dysfunction and penis shrinkage. Exercise intolerance is also a symptom of Long Covid. Has he been to a doctor? Sorry about your troubles.

  304. This is maybe not the advice you're looking for but my first instinct is that if it's not coming naturally to you, and the phrase itself isnt doing the job of turning you on, and you blanking is rujnging the mood… then why does he bother to keep doing it? Seems like this could easily be solved by just not saying anything. Or if dirty talk is something you've both agreed you want, have him switch it up to something you dont have to respond to. Honestly not sure why all the impetus to make this better is being put on you.

  305. It’s just mental. I wouldn’t have that problem tho. When you let go of that performance anxiety and pressure and just have fun, the problem goes away largely

  306. It basically sounds like you’ve been doing everything right. A milky substance inside the condom can come from any number of things: lube, precum, or a small amount of urine in the urethra can all get mixed up and agitated by the movement of an erection inside a condom during sex and be very difficult to identify. If you are concerned about pregnancy then take a pregnancy test. If the spotting is unusual she could bring it up with her gynecologist, but that’s on her- not you. It is always a good idea to pair birth control methods. Pre orgasm Pull-out plus condom use is good. the pill or another birth control plus condom use is also good. Consider if and how responsibilities for birth control can be shared as a couple. Knowing both of you are working together to avoid unintended pregnancies may do a lot to diminish both of your anxieties.

  307. I like the taste of precut but not so much actual cum at the finish. The cum I’ve tasted was intensely bitter and salty, and even though I was determined to swallow and be as enthusiastic as possible, it wasn’t a taste I enjoyed. But the precum I have tasted was much milder in flavor, and I gradually grew to really like it and get more into BJs when I could taste it. I think cum in general is an acquired taste and more people could learn to like it or not hate it if they were open minded.

  308. Are you trying to just impress your partner or are you trying to elongate your pleasure? If you are just looking to last longer in bed, a quickfix would be to have an orgasm earlier in the day you plan to have sex. You could try to maximize this benefit by figuring out your refraction period and trying to orgasm right near this window. If you are looking to obtain the skill of semen retention aka dry orgasm to increase your pleasure for longer periods that is something that takes some practice. To work on this you simply get close to orgasm and then slow down so that you dont cum or stop completely. Its a delicate balance however because your goal is to stay hard without cumming. Similar to the practice of edging you want to keep repeating this process for as long as possible. Eventually you will orgasm whether you stop or not and you will know youre successful when you reach this orgasm without any ejaculate. The final way to increase stamina is to have a partner that is willing to help you. When you are about to cum, pull out amd have her suck you to orgasm and to not stop until youre fully hard again for round 2. This is great when your partner has no problem swallowing cum and is freaky enough to keep going until youre ready for more. This is probably the best way but of course you need a willing partner because its quite hard to keep jacking once you cum, when you take it out of your own hands it actially becomes pleasurable instead of slightly painful No advice for ya on non natural methods, i dont partake in any

  309. I can only imagine, but it sounds like y’all are pretty respectful of each other and the situation. Just keep doing the fun stuff and the checking in

  310. Keep your head down and let it blow over. You'll probably have a bad reputation for 6 months to a year but if you're not a bad guy people will eventually see that and come around. If it keeps building you can take legal recourse. It's possible to send her a cease and desist and bring her to court for slander if she keeps lying to people.

  311. Communication is key. Boundaries need to be set of what you both like. You don’t want to go to far down the road without saying anything.

  312. I've tried multiple (maybe 6 types) medications/therapists over the years, none of which had a net positive. Some even made it a hell of alot worse. I've been off the medications for almost 2 years due to sporting reasons, and have been feeling a hell of alot better. But yes I have wasted many years of my life and missed out on alot of experiences due to this affliction.

  313. Doggy as a position allows for a deeper penetration. You're hitting her cervix, which can be painful to a lot of people who have a cervix. Try being more gentle or not inserting fully/deep enough to hit her cervix.

  314. This makes no sense to me at all. You better rethink marrying this person. The intimacy in a relationship is key to your success. You’ve been doing it for years, I just don’t understand the point of pulling back.

  315. that really helped me to gain some perspective on my whole situation. Thanks so much for your advice, it really helped 🙂

  316. There’s a person I know that’s had only fans for a while Idk if i’d feel comfortable with my bf paying for an only fan’s account of someone he knows ..?

  317. NTA. I tell my husband that some nights I'd like to just have a hot and heavy make-out session, or just cuddle, and there's nothing wrong with that.

  318. Yes. Given the low fever and then a return to normal temp you shouldn’t be anxious. But you’re right to want to speak to a doctor.

  319. Dude, it’s just boobs. Also, it’s just a body. Also happened in a professional medical environment. As long as he wasn’t disrespectful or creepy, I wouldn’t mind either.

  320. Some pleasure can not be achieved without certain acts, though. The sensation of being eaten out or receiving a bj isn't really replicable, for example. Yes, pleasure and sexual acts should be freely given and enthusiastic, but if you can't get that from your partner you either have to cope without or move on. I refused to engage in relationships where I wouldn't be receiving head. I didn't withhold bjs over it (because I enjoy them on their own anyways), I just wouldn't start that relationship.

  321. Because they can't get any play of their own, so they make fun of you to make themselves better.

  322. My ex husband used to shame me for weight gain. Ever since the divorce, I’ve only have positive comments from me. To each their own, but I have way better sex with my curves and confidence (and lack of an asshole on my side).

  323. Yea just wanted to know that it is normal and common and even we do not need to use lube it is sometimes easier

  324. Shaved or not shaved ..it should be clean ..that matter more ..hair on human body is natural and organic

  325. It’s really not clear what (if any) advice you’re asking for here. Obviously you are not the only man in the world who has seen a decrease in libido with age and declining health/wellness. But whats the problem you’re trying to solve? Is it that you want the libido back for YOU? Or that you want to be able to please your partner? Probably both I assume? But you know what you have to do to reverse it (if it can be reversed, and most likely it can to some degree). You just have to decide if its important enough for you to put in the work. And as for pleasing your partner – there are other ways to do that than with your dick. If she is feeling frisky you can offer to lend a hand. Or mouth to help her out. Hopefully she has some toys she liked to use to masturbate – you can use them on her. But one thing is for sure – theres nothing wrong with looking at porn whether its to see if anything stirs or just because you enjoy it. But if you’re worried about looking at it or feeling guilty about it – it’s not going to help. Maybe tell your partner that sometimes porn helps, sometimes it doesnt – ask if she would like to put something on she finds sexy and ask if you can at least help her get some pleasure. Be clear that it may or may not physiologically help you out but assure her that whether or not your dick is responding that your brain (and heart) are fully in it.

  326. That's why it feels sooo good when you sleep with them. lol, just kidding! I love my friends too much to ever do anythign like that, but yeah, some of them are really hot for a lot of the reasons listed.

  327. I appreciate the feedback. I actually didn't even think of the meds reacting to dopamine thing, that could very well be it. It wasn't a situation I needed to go to the ER for (without going into too much detail) and have talked about it with friends but do appreciate the concern. I just want to have sex with her again, really & wanted to see if there was a way to do so before I see my therapist, unfortunately he isn't an on call therapist though & the feelings have since passed

  328. Married 30 years and you two can't talk about sex? No better time to start than the present.

  329. Please don't give up! I know you probably feel like the whole world is closing in on you and you want to just crawl into a corner and die but don't do that to yourself. You're worth it, You're worth it to the people that love you like family or friends. Everyone is ment to find there soulmate in life. You just haven't found yours yet, but please don't give up hope! I was with my late wife for almost 30 years (I am 42 btw) She passed away 2 years go. So i know how you feel about giving up and thinking its over. I had my soulmate and I will never find another one like her and I am OK being alone till my time comes. You will find yours and then you look back at this moment in your life and realize it made you a stronger, better person for it.

  330. Seriously. Especially if you have no choice in who those men are, or what they are doing to you. You pretty much have to be on drugs to survive that kind of thing, you must dissociate or it’d be unbearable.

  331. This is the literal definition of trafficking. OP, I specialize in trafficking case management and what your boyfriend is telling you is a huge huge deal. Leave. Him.

  332. What makes you say she was disgusted with you? I seriously doubt she would offer you this experience if she felt any disgust about you. If you choose to do it, I hope you have a great time with her. At least you are friends and maybe can work with that as far as communication and her sharing with you what's what when you're having sex

  333. What's the affection and closeness you feel are lacking? (From your title) or is it just the lack of sex? (Which is valid to want and miss when it's gone, whilst still knowing it's neither persons fault)

  334. I’ve been doing that with my fwb as a way to build up tension and delay gratification for him at least. Sex after a date like that is always off the fkin charts!

  335. Is there anything major that changed in your life recently? Desire can naturally go up and down throughout life, depending on what else is going on. Stress in other areas will reduce libido, and so will stress over this itself. Once you start stressing about this, it can lead you into a downward spiral. Give yourself a break and take the pressure off.

  336. Thank you for sharing! If they have a situation similar to mine offering alternative solutions like “I can kiss you on the neck while you masturbate” go a really long way.

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  338. Work on your oral game and hand work to add to the experience as well. You have nothing to worry about.

  339. Have him eat healthier and drink more water. Certain things can make his cum taste horrible, like coffee and alcohol. Apparently pineapple can make it taste better, but we didn’t see a difference with that. It’s the overall diet that effects the taste.

  340. Doing something you really don’t want to do now is only going to taint your perception of it, making you less likely or willing to do it in the future. If you start engaging in sexual acts now, when you don’t want to, you’re going to link a negative emotion to them and make it harder for you to open up to them later on, or just end up swinging the opposite way and never wanting to do them again

  341. A couple of tips: #1 Stop shaving- the more hairy you are, the more animal-like you appear. 2 Let you natural musk take over. The powerful pheromones from your body will seduce him. 3 Bite him during foreplay. Biting him will unlock his brain’s natural flight-or-fuck response. (Lock doors before hand for best results)

  342. Yes that's the point, all guys want to see that but for some it's harder than others and then one is disappointinted by themselves :/ thank you for your comments!

  343. You probably won’t ever solve this unless you find someone equal or better. Even in a better relationship you may not ever be able to get over your one seed. I still think about my ex from 15 years ago because she was that good and I screwed it up

  344. I can’t speak for all men but I’ve never felt a difference. In fact all pussy feels amazing. not the same, but always amazing What’s really more important than the look/feel of the vagina is the overall experience and attraction between two individuals and the chemistry.

  345. Many, many women wish their partners were more vocal in bed. For the other stuff, it depends on the woman. It all sounds fine to me but no one is everyone's cup of tea.

  346. OK, I truly hope that works out for you. But my advice is to be you're true person with your life partner. What you are suggesting is exhausting at best, and can drive a wedge otherwise. Good luck!

  347. Thank you! And he kind of went out of his way to reach out (I had blocked him and he used Google Voice to shoot his shot). I’m excited to see where things go.

  348. It's a fantasy, I would love to be involved with two lesbians. Just don't fight over which one is riding my face. ?

  349. You don’t love her. When you love someone you want them to be happy and healthy. I hope she finds a guy who appreciates her body at her healthiest and happiest. Any healthy man can get it up when looking at a slim naked woman so don’t make it a “her” issue. It’s your issue.

  350. Read the link. And I oversimplified. But if you want to discuss Freud in depth and the psychoanalysis practices that come from his misogynistic theories, we can start with clitoral orgasms are immature orgasms.

  351. Odd. Can you lay on your back or do positions that don't require any stress on the knee? If you don't mind me asking.

  352. I think enjoying your body doesn’t have to be only in the context of love, although it typically makes it better. But if you’re not mentally willing to forgo the loving part you’ll probably won’t enjoy it much. So it boils down to you being honest with yourself about what you want and what you can do.

  353. OMG. I look forward to trying this and completely fucking it up, but doing so with gusto and hilarity ???.

  354. I want to have sex with you.”? Idk, this strategy works for alot of women. Make a tinder profile & put it on there. They'll handle the rest. Lol

  355. Thank you for this comment! This labelling your partner idea is really interesting and worth further examination 🙂

  356. Bad sex: a purely selfish partner who wouldn't notice if I was replaced with a blow up doll halfway through. Everything else can be worked with.

  357. We’ve pretty much done all of that. She had a hard time getting up to the medium sized plug (3.8in) in a trainer kit we got. The next plug in that set 4.9. Then I’m like 5.8. It’s quite a step up. She have to be dedicated to “training” a few times a week to get there I think. Obviously, it’s possible, I just don’t think either of us are motivated enough to get there. I mean, I would, but I don’t think she’s wanting it to happen that bad.

  358. Your post has been automatically removed because it appears to be about early ejaculation. We get numerous submissions regarding this daily because it happens to lots of men at some point. However, because it is a topic that comes up so often and is well covered by our FAQ our community has asked the mod team to direct posters with these concerns to these resources instead. If you're interested in discussion on the topic, please do a search of /r/sex and read some of the many past discussions on the topic. If you feel the topic of you post is not covered by the FAQ, please message the moderators and ask that your post be restored. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

  359. Some people, remarkably, have seemingly flawless skin. Most people have stretch marks, moles, bruises, birthmarks, freckles, dimples, cellulite, scars, hair, blemishes, etc., but that's cool. None of that can stop a nice ass from being a nice ass. Bodies are different, and that's awesome. You're good, I promises. All butts are snuggle worthy.

  360. Have the same issues with my wife, although we have only recently started to talk about it. I constantly desire to go down on her but its always a smell or taste worry for her that i get as a reason to not tonight. Meanwhile I don't notice a difference and in fact its fantastic. I'm hoping over time and initiating and keeping to ask will help but I also realize it's something she needs to feel good about too which is tough as a spouse as I want to help!

  361. Lol you fucked up. Feel sorry the guy, specially if he has an ego haha. Do something nice for him, take him to a nice place and try to make him feel like a king without ever mentioning other guys. That's all i can think of.

  362. There’s a fine line between wet and too wet. DE is no fun, I’d rather have PE! Maybe you’re leaking pre-cum. Maybe alternate to oral or have longer foreplay

  363. Hormonal problems can make the tissue less elastic, leading to tears. It’s not uncommon to see after menopause, but a similar state can happen in younger women due to taking certain kinds of BC. You can learn more at r/vulvodynia

  364. This is a very natural feeling. Nothing wrong with you. Any guy in your position will feel the same thing. Don't believe if anyone is saying that it is a 'confidence' or 'insecurity' thing. Talk to her and make it clear that you don't enjoy her talking about her previous experiences.

  365. Just a thought. Sometimes guys refuse to do stuff because the woman seems nagging. Did you consider inviting him to the shower with you? Showering together is nice and then you can have sex with a totally clean guy 😉

  366. That's what I'm saying, his whole premise is “I'm just number 5,” and then he gets mad and tells me how I had no common sense bc of it

  367. He’s told you how he feels. Believe him. What he apparently doesn’t know is you want boob play to get off. Tell him that and see how it goes.

  368. She is very sweet , well spoken and carries herself very well …. I did ask her about therapy, unfortunately she hasn't gotten any ?

  369. thank you so much ! but what about claw marks ? do they still fall under the pretense of bdsm as well or is there a spefic name to this fetish/kink?

  370. Terrible idea. Yin and Yang works a lot better in the long run. You both have to compromise, sometimes you get your way, sometimes she does

  371. It doesn't at all. People like what they like, and there's nothing wrong with that as long as you also respect that people don't like what they don't like. Some people just don't match up.

  372. Refusing to answer the question could only be labeled dishonest if the dude is really stupid. Granted, he asked the question in the first place, with the clear expectation of being told he's better than his supposed friend, so I suppose we could take it as a given that the man is, at the very least, something of a fool.

  373. My latest partner has the hottest body I've ever seen naked. You can see the thread I started to see how that went, LOL.

  374. If he's a considerate lover, he should be helping you to relax and get aroused anyway. But knowing that you haven't had such sex, he should be motivated to take greater care to make sure you are relaxed and lubricated, and to be gentle.

  375. Set some ground rules, this could lead to other activities you aren’t comfortable with. But interesting situation! Sounds like fun on paper but can easily turn sour.

  376. Her needs are obviously not being met already in the relationship if she’s not emotionally available for sec after months of a dry spell it’s intentional. so doing this will even FURTHER be a turn off ??‍♀️ IF he’s not making her feel validated/prioritized in the relationship she’s going to feel even more disconnected from him and will likely push her further away.

  377. Her needs are obviously not being met already in the relationship if she’s not emotionally available for sec after months of a dry spell it’s intentional. so doing this will even FURTHER be a turn off ??‍♀️ IF he’s not making her feel validated/prioritized in the relationship she’s going to feel even more disconnected from him and will likely push her further away.

  378. You’re 32, that’s what’s happening. It’s perfectly natural for your body to start slowing down and your libido to decrease. If you don’t like it, there are plenty of treatments and supplements to increase your free testosterone and get that libido back. Weightlifting and other muscle-driven exercise can also help.

  379. There are lots of quizzes on love languages. I don’t know a specific one, but therapists use them as well, so I am sure there’s some credible ones out there!

  380. It depends on you and your partner honestly. It’s usually the mood and you would be able to tell if they are with or against it. Most would go with the flow and some are quite strongly against it either because they dislike giving oral or just had bad experiences in the past. But I would say sex is more intimate than oral. It’s the connection of two people spiritually and emotionally. So it holds a greater weight than just giving oral.

  381. Yeah last I checked Vaseline is not a good lube to use! Sounds like you got some inflammation going on ?

  382. Have you also talked to your therapist about easing into sex after this? I think that’s something that should be done with the support of a professional backing you. I could give lots of suggestions but I’m not an expert in cPTSD (though I do have anxiety/depression) and I think most ppl on Reddit won’t have the expertise for this.

  383. Have you also talked to your therapist about easing into sex after this? I think that’s something that should be done with the support of a professional backing you. I could give lots of suggestions but I’m not an expert in cPTSD (though I do have anxiety/depression) and I think most ppl on Reddit won’t have the expertise for this.

  384. If you're not in the moment and getting distracted that could certainly do it. Perhaps the sex is not aligned closely with the things that arouse you most? Is there something you're really into in your fantasies that you could incorporate into the bedroom irl?

  385. I don’t know why this is downvoted, I couldn’t put anything in my vagina because of a burning pain when I was young and learned about the hymen and decided this was probably what was stopping me. I made it my mission one night when I was about 15 that I needed to break it because I thought there was a chance I could be mucking around with this boy I liked soon. Long story short, it hurt like hell, like a burning stretching pain, I pushed and pushed my finger and it was horrible and painful and then suddenly it kind of ‘popped’ and my finger was in. After that I could put things in it just fine. The hymen definitely sometimes impedes penetration in some of us before it’s torn or whatever, I’ve no idea why people suddenly think it’s a myth or something? There’s different kinds, I knew a girl who almost bled to death from her first time because she had some kind of hymen that causes heavy bleeding when damaged.

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