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If you are using the “but you are using toys so I should be allowed them” then it’s obviously not the same. She’d rather not have her toys than you have a flesh light. That says a lot. Maybe you should go into a toy store with her (or online) you you should find something that works for you together. Relationships are about compromise. Especially in sex. You should try to help develop her own sexual self-confidence to the point where she doesn’t mind you buying whatever you want for yourself. I mean if she exclusively bought 10” dildos – would you have an issue?
it just seems like a huge ongoing obsession of his and i dont know how to feel about it. No it's not. It's not a sexual obsession like you think it is because he hasn't brought it up since. And he hasn't pestered you about it. You've just got a lazy bf who is shit around the house. He knows you will do the things he asks, because you do them. It's that simple. If he never said anything about asking to call you mummy, you'd have this issue anyway. Lots of people don't want to call their gf's mummy, and are still this lazy. Your drawing conclusions imo
Forgive me if you've already covered this angle. Reading your post and a few of your comments, it sounds like his issue isn't just his size, but also the mismatch in experience. You mention that you've been with more people than him, even a few women and have more experience with kink than him. Therefore his issues seem to be: Worrying about inadequacy thanks to his size Worrying about you having had “better” from previous partners Worrying that you are kinkier than him and will be unsatisfied That is a LOT to process and yes, speaking as a married man, I can 100% sympathise with your husband over this. I am not only the relatively less-experienced in my marriage, but also the low-libido spouse, and when we started getting serious with each other, I had performance issues and felt nervous in bed. I agree with the commenter below who said you might have to go in with a stronger approach – set up a safe word and go for the tying him up and then using his penis to get yourself off. He's probably drunk the cool-aid of “PIV isn't the most pleasurable act for most women” a LITTLE too hard and genuinely thinks that since he's small anyway, you won't miss it. I know you've been telling him you want it more, but when you say you are MORE experienced, that implies that he HAS some experience before you – it's likely that a previous partner possibly shamed him for either his size or made him REALLY understand that PIV isn't all that for women (I think the most recent stat is that something like 70% of women don't orgasm from PIV so it's good that you recognise how lucky you are to be part of the 30% minority who do btw). In addition to tying him up and showing him how much you miss his penis, you might need a stronger approach to talking to him about this. You've told him over and over again how much you miss PIV and for some reason it's either not sinking in, or he's disregarding it. Time to ask him why this is. Do your best not to come across as attacking, but genuinely curious; something like “I've noticed that you are reluctant to use your penis with me, even though I've been telling you how much I want it. Is it that you have a hard time believing me? If so, why?” Confronting him with what is actually going on might help him properly deal with his insecurity. For a man with a genuine micropenis, he has won the lottery with you – a woman who loves him for who he is, doesn't mind his size AND gets off from PIV pretty regularly.
Why tho? Why should she go down on him, even if she doesnt like it, if he wont go down on her? (When he doesnt like it.) Sex isnt tit for tat. At all. But expecting oral, when u re unwilling to give it, thats unacceptable. Even more if someone s demanding it. Now that doesnt mean that people keep score. Or every time one goes down, the other immidiately reciprocates. Myb one likes it more than the other so its 30-70%. But being unwilling to do do it, yet being completely fine with receivning it shows that he s pretty selfish. Someone who s okay with just receiving and never giving seems like a red flag. Like a person that looks out for themselves and doesnt care much about their partner. Exceptions might exist. Still. A match between a person that s okay with giving oral, and a person that dislikes to recieve, but likes to give, where because of that, the first person only gets it, doesnt give, is way different than having a person that doesnt want to give, but is fine with getting pleasure from it at the same time. That shows selfishness. And entitlement. At the end of the day, this comment could just as well be told to him. He s not going to get oral anymore because she doesnt want to give it. He should look into suction toys or dental dams. He should just evaluate how important it is to him.
I agree with you, just didn't like what the other comment was saying.