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  1. Yeah I wouldn’t be surprised if he refused. I played zero part in it and he knows that. The foundation is actually broken, wood is shattered. The whole thing needs to be replaced..unless he’s a carpenter lol

  2. We’re kind of open about that, the wife and I, we talk to our friends, my sister and brother in law, I mean we’re all adults, we all fuck, so ?‍♂️

  3. even though people are telling you “this isn’t normal”, this is extremely common, especially for trauma survivors or people who haven’t experienced it before or have limited and not positive experiences you will feel much better about it if you and your partner proceed with progressions, and mapping out those progressions in advance may be helpful the idea is the goal of any single session is to progress on one of the progressions, and at any time you can regress back or stop if you feel uncomfortable or go forward if you feel comfortable, with lots of checking in there are also lots more things that women have to be anxious about with a man going down on her vs. a woman going down, primarily rough facial hair / stubble and a lack of empathy for how vulnerable it feels, both physically and psychologically (there are lots of narratives depicting it as a chore for men, which makes women self conscious, and porn doesn’t focus on cunnilingus, especially not high quality and variable approaches to it, it’s mostly for the male gaze or for practical camera angles) – so, your anxiety is completely normal and understandable, regardless of your personal fears that dictate your apprehension on top of all that, women often have HUGE anxiety about being able to orgasm or with physically or mentally relaxing enough to orgasm, and that takes both skill and work individually by the woman and a caring and attentive partner to overcome alone and together, especially when introducing an unfamiliar or anxiety-inducing sex act anyway, here are some examples of progressions: he starts with a 10-20min massage of your genital area with his hands, and his hands should be clean, nails trimmed, skin and callouses smoothed and moisturized, because the skin on your genitals is hella sensitive – the goal is getting blood flow to the area, getting the skin neurologically primed for touch, and relaxing you mentally and physically – after this, you can stop right here for the day and check in about what felt the best (you can also do that throughout together), and your mission is accomplished if you are comfortable and relaxed at the end – you can do this again next time and every time until you’re like “cool, this is nothing, I’m ready for the next thing”, and when you’re at that point physically and mentally, introduce another progression after he does the massage the next time, he can try landmarking some kisses while softly continuing the massage, only with firm and continuous pressure on the kisses (no “Frenching” type motions), so that you get used to his head between your legs, which is a vulnerability hurdle to overcome – firm kisses on the thighs, above the genitals, and if those are too stimulating, he moves back to just massaging, and if those are okay, he moves the firm sustained kisses closer to the inner thighs or butt cheeks etc., and if those are too much, he moves back outward while continuing massage, and if those are okay, he can try planting form sustained kisses on your labia (but not your clit yet) – he’s not using his tongue yet (that’s a new much more heightened level of stimulation) – you can do these post-massage landmarking kisses until you get to the “cool this is totally fine, I’m ready for the next thing” stage again, and either try the next thing then or the next time he does the massage, then the landmarking kissing, and if you’re ready, he does a sustained kiss over your clit and you communicate how that feels and if you’d rather more kisses elsewhere instead or first – this is to get comfortable with his mouth near your clit specifically – some women’s clits are extremely sensitive at the surface and others can take more pressure or direct stimulation – it’s very important that you both understand how his mouth and breath/moisture affect your unique clit as a step and that there is no pressure to move into stimulating it directly or aggressively, because that could result in experiential trauma that could turn you off from trying it again (be aware though, it’s totally normal while figuring things out to have a brief moment of sharp pain accidentally, if you have a hypersensitive clit, and it will be much less anxious for both of you if both know and expect that and calmly take a pause and try again instead of either of you getting resentful or angry – you either stop for the day, or just take a pause – I have a hypersensitive clit and for me when it gets flipped the wrong way, immediate firm pressure from one of our hands for about 30 seconds is enough to reground and soothe things, then we carry on) note for progression 2 and 3 you can pay attention to how facial hair or stubble feels and if you’ll need to modify anything – I not only have a hypersensitive clit but also super sensitive skin so in the past stubble has actually rubbed my inner thighs raw and caused bleeding – if that is happening know there are lots of quick fixes – if pushing your legs further apart makes things feel too vulnerable or less pleasurable (that can often be the case for me because it pushes my clit too far out of the hood which for me is painful, but for some is great!), you can put a blanket or towel in place or wear thigh high or crotchless leggings/stockings/tights once you’ve figured out the clit vs. mouth sensitivity situation, the next progression is you see how his tongue feels on different parts of your genitals – and best practice is to landmark with the tongue first, not flick it back and forth with it taut or make sharp motions – he needs to think about doing it softly and with more sustained and predictable and slow pressures to ease your brain into knowing the touch is non-threatening (your animal brain is doing its job trying to deter another animal from putting its mouth near your genitals, you just need to teach it what context cues it should relax under) – some great tongue landmarking techniques are literally just resting the tongue over an area, with lots of contact points sustained, for a few seconds, and then slowly while maintaining the contact, moving it back and forth or undulating it in place – again can start at the labia / near the vagina and move up, checking in together, until you’re ready for him to try the tongue landmarking on your clit; at the same time, if you like breast play he can massage your breasts and nipples, or if you want to communicate with squeezes, he can hold one of your hands, and you can do a double squeeze for “pause to check-in” and other signals like for “keep doing that”, such as a long sustained hand squeeze – once all of this feels good and totally cool, you can decide whether you’d like to try to climax while he’s down there or leave it as a precursor to other things (it can be too stimulating for some people to do it for too long at a time, or they start to crave other types of stimulation)

  4. Nope not in my 20's and not now iny 50's or anytime in between. “I like big butts and I cannot lie” – Sir Mix Slot. I'm a thigh and ass man. Thigh and ass men don't care about that. Stretch marks and some dimples mean you got that way naturally.

  5. Not sure that you meant it that way, but unfortunately your last paragraph, in the context of the discussion, reinforces rough sex as the more desirable option. Somehow rough sex is superior in that apparently clitoral stimulation occurs during it and non rough sex has to make up for that by adding simulation. I'm quite old and rough sex was always the minority option in my experience. If rough sex is the preferred option these days then we were doing it wrong for decades or porn and culture has made it mainstream whether people want it or not.

  6. I'm the same. I've worked with a lot of survivors in the health sector. The rule is, enthusiastic consent, or its not consent. He knew what he was doing.

  7. “If he isn’t listening to me what do I do?” You end the relationship. That is what you do. I know you've been with him for a long time, but the fact is, if you stay with him you are going to be sexually frustrated for the rest of your life. You've tried resolving this issue with communication and it hasn't worked. That means there is nothing you can do and he's not going to change. Do you really want to be dealing with bad sex for the next 40 years? I don't think you do. Break it off and be done with it. You're only 20 and you've got your whole life ahead of you. You'll find someone else.

  8. This has happened to every guy a few times in a sexual life, don't overthink about it. The less you think about it the better

  9. First of all, it's not that uncommon for fantasies to be something we might not ACTUALLY want in real life – for example a common fantasy is r*pe play, and I'd venture to say that no one ACTUALLY wants to be r*ped in real life. Part of the appeal of fantasies is that many of them are seen as “taboo” or just downright wrong, but that just makes them all the more appealing in theory. With your situation, it could be that you enjoy some form of cuck-ing, or if not, then the idea that he COULD be with any woman he wants but chooses you, thereby confirming that you are the “most desirable” one (a competitive streak). It could also, possibly, be a territorial thing – you imagine him with another woman and it fires up your jealousy (in the right amount, jealousy can be a very sexy tool) so you want to “reclaim” him and show him why you are “the best”. There's nothing wrong with any of these scenarios, so just relax an enjoy.

  10. Yeah, I wondered about the car as well. Edit: At 30. Who is at home that you can’t be around? That might be some of the anxiety.

  11. Lol i would be mad. One time when i was way younger…there was a guy…he was like a bunny rabbit fast and furious. It slipped in my ass….i screamed! Thank god he was not that big…but he could fuck. I have had bigger….but it slipped and he did

  12. She froze from fear … guarantee you he was making all the physical moves, he didn't even listen to her when she said dinner!

  13. Guessing that man has never had a raging UTI. They should be teaching this in sex Ed in school because to many people don’t know this.

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